The Angel of Solitude and Tears
by Alexia Blackbriar
Summary: S5 AU After Carthage. Because Castiel was just too awesome to Fall and the writers were throwing away so much potential. "Hey, Dean," Sam said, frowning, squinting at the website page. "Did Cas ever mention that he happens to be a powerful archangel who is the Heir to Heaven? Because I don't think he informed us about that." BAMF!Cas, Lots of Hurt!Cas and whump. Plus Gabriel lives!
1. Revelations

**Title: The Angel of Solitude and Tears**

**Written By: Alexia Blackbriar**

**Summary:**

**Season 5 AU After Carthage. Because Cas was just too awesome to Fall and I felt like the writers were throwing away so much potential. A lot of things haven't been explained.**

**"Hey, Dean," Sam said, frowning, squinting at the website page. "Did Cas ever mention that he happens to be a powerful archangel who is the Heir to Heaven? Because I don't think he informed us about that."**

**AN: Damn those plot bunnies won't leave me alone! I was physically limping and I had to write this. Sorry, will try and update other stories as soon as possible. Meanwhile... this.**

* * *

Sam wished he hadn't researched Castiel's name. It probably would've made life a lot easier. But he just had to be all curious and interested and type in the angel's name into the search bar. He really didn't understand why they hadn't done it before - research the angels they happened to have alliances with and looked up the angels they wanted to gank, to see what they were up against.

It kind of came to younger Winchester one day as they stopped at Bobby's to check out the rumours on an archangel's blade being able to kill Lucifer. After what had happened at Carthage with the raising of Death and Jo and Ellen's deaths, they needed to figure out how to kill Lucifer, if the Colt didn't.

"Castiel," he muttered, clicking on a few pages that came up on his browser. "Okay, here we are... Angel of Thursday, new changes and travel. Huh. Weirdly appropriate for us considering our lifestyle."

"What're you doing, Sammy?" Dean questioned, striding past with a beer in hand.

"Researching Castiel," Sam replied absentmindedly. "... Temperance... yeah, not so much us..." Sam clicked on another tab and exclaimed, "His holy colour is apparently pastel green."

"The hell?" Dean looked alarmed and confused. "Why?"

"I don't know. How am I supposed to know why his holy colour is green?"

"No - I mean, that's disturbing, yeah, but why are you researching him?"

"I thought it could be useful," Sam answered, looking up at his older brother. "I mean, he's Falling because he's helping us stop the Apocalypse, right? Thought we might as well get to know him a little better."

"By researching him online?"

"Yes."

"Sam, that's creepy."

Sam turned back to his brother. "It's useful."

"Yeah, Cas'll be thrilled you're stalking him."

"Oh look, it says here his wing colour is unknown. How do you think they know what colour an angel's wings are anyway?"

Dean made a small gagging noise. "Dude, that's messed up."

Dean strode away, but Sam shrugged and moved on. Castiel... also known as Cassiel. He frowned before checking his other tabs. None of the other sites happened to think that Castiel had other names. Oh well. It wouldn't hurt.

* * *

_C__assiel, also known as Castiel..._

_Powerful Archangel, the Angel of Solitude and Tears..._

_A guardian of humanity and watcher of Earth..._

_Skilled warrior of Heaven..._

___Phenomenal ancient powers..._

_Been in hiding since Lucifer's fall, under the guise of a Seraph..._

_Raised by the Archangel Gabriel_

_Changed his name to Castiel due to Lucifer hunting him..._

_As a fledgling hidden from demons and the Fallen due to his Rites..._

_Known as the Youngest Angel and the True Son of God..._

_The Heir to Heaven..._

* * *

"Hey, Dean," Sam said, frowning, squinting at the website page. "Did Cas ever mention that he happens to be a powerful archangel who is the Heir to Heaven? Because I don't think he informed us about that."

"What?" Dean blanched, rushing over and quickly scanning the page, his mouth hanging open slightly. "Man, is this for real?"

"I don't know. Doesn't seem like it's fake," Sam responded, sitting back in his chair, slightly shocked at the information they had just uncovered.

"Dude! If he's this 'all powerful Archangel' then why doesn't he just zap Lucifer back into the cage?"

"Well it does say in hiding."

"He could have saved Ellen and Jo!"

"He was trapped in holy fire, he couldn't do anything, Dean."

"He's an Archangel - he's probably known how to kill Lucifer the whole time!"

"Dean, I don't think -"

"CAS! CASTIEL! GET YOUR FEATHERY -"

Sam hissed and grabbed his brother's arm. "Dean! What are you doing?"

Dean pulled away angrily. "If this is true then Cas has been lying through his teeth to us!"

"Dean, he's been hiding from Lucifer since he was created!" Sam argued, standing and crossing his arms. "I think we can go easy on him."

"CAS!"

"Dean, stop it!"

"You can't stop me!"

"Just shut up, you jerk!"

"CAS! GET DOWN HERE NOW -"

Dean's furious shouting was interrupted by Sam shoving him to the floor. Before Dean could jump up and slam his fist into his brother's stomach, however, Bobby appeared in the doorway in his wheelchair and started yelling at them for making such a racket while he was working. It took considerably quite a long while for the Winchester brothers to explain the situation to the older hunter and what they had discovered.

"Well if you're gonna talk to 'im 'bout it, I'd have expected you two to maybe crack out some of the arson."

Sam looked up from where he was taking notes from the webpage. "What do you mean?"

Dean grimaced, crossing his arms. "I still have some of that holy oil we used to trap Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and the Trickster Nightmare."

"Dean, no. That's as bad as betraying him. Using a weapon he gave to us against him? That's low, man. We can't do that."

"I don't see any other option here, Sammy," Dean told him, and it was clear by his expression that he too wasn't pleased with the idea of trapping their ally in a ring of holy fire and interrogating him.

Bobby raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

"Okay, we'll do it," Sam exhaled. "But we're not hurting him. We're doing this simply to get answers."

Dean hesitated then agreed, "Let's get down to the Panic Room and set up. The holy oil's in the Impala."

* * *

"Summoning him?" Sam looked troubled. "Can't we just... you know, pray for him?"

"We have no way knowing he'll answer, and he has to land in the circle of holy oil."

"Dean, I'm not sure about this."

"Be sure," Dean told him, glancing at him from sideways on. "You're the one who brought this up, we need to find out if that info's true. If it is, we have some major issues to iron out with the guy."

Bobby finished the summoning ritual and the three hunters settled down to wait for their feathered friend to arrive. Dean had his lighter out, ready in his hand. They waited for a moment, then the lights flickered, once, twice, before a great boom of thunder was heard in the distance. The sound of rustling feathers signalled the angel's appearance; Castiel flashed confused blue eyes at the three of them.

Dean dropped the lighter and the holy oil burst into flames. Castiel whipped around, his trench coat flapping gently against his thighs, and when he turned back to the Winchester brothers and Bobby, his expression caused a pang in their hearts. He looked betrayed. Betrayed, confused, terrified, uncertain and fearful. He shuffled to the middle of the circle of fire, seeming to want to be as well away from the leaping red flames as possible.

"Dean? Sam? Bobby?" God, his voice even sounded broken. "What's going on? Let me go!" And there was no denying the desperate plea beneath those words, the underlying fear at the thought of the flames tearing apart his wings and burning his Grace.

"Castiel, it's okay, it's fine," Sam said, because it didn't seem like Dean or Bobby were going to comfort the distressed angel any time soon. "We just want to ask you some questions, alright? We don't want you to fly off without answering. We're not gonna hurt you. We'll let you go, we promise."

"Alright," Cas replied, cautiously. "What do you want to know?"

"Well there's a lot we wanna know right know, Castiel," Dean said, the venom clear in his voice, his green eyes flashing furiously. "Or should I say, _Cassiel?_"

Castiel reeled back in shock and horror. They could almost see the shadows of his wings caused by the light of the flames, snapping inwards to protect himself. He stepped back, away from them, his fear indescribable.

"How do you -" he started, shaking.

"DEAN!" Sam shouted at his brother.

"We were gonna get to it one way or another!" Dean hissed at his younger brother. "We needed to get to the point!"

Sam was seething. "You can't just drop a bombshell on him like that! We need _time _to do it _slowly -_"

"I've been patient as a frickin' Saint, Sammy!" Dean yelled angrily. "Frankly, I want the inside info, now!"

"Dean, we said we were going to be rational about this -"

"Yeah, that's what we said. I want some freakin' answers." He turned to Castiel and demanded, "Is it true?"

Castiel just nodded silently.

"See? Was that so hard?" Dean growled, shooting a glare at Sam.

"Boys!" Bobby snarled.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment, only filled with the sound of the flames burning and roaring quietly.

"Can you break the circle now, please?" Castiel eventually asked carefully.

"NO!" Dean shouted.

At the same time Sam said, "Yes, of course."

"BOYS!" Bobby roared.

The brothers glared at the walls opposide them, not speaking. Bobby sighed and stepped forwards, and at the same time Castiel stepped back, his cobalt eyes cautious and guarded. Bobby stamped out the flames and the circle broke, the fire burning down until the flames had extinguished.

"I will answer any questions you have," the angel - no _Archangel _- informed them.

"Why didn't you tell us?" was the first question that burst out of Dean's mouth, the rage clear in it.

Castiel shrugged, looking down at his feet, before answering, "I - I was going to. I planned to if we had managed to stop Lucifer from escaping from the cage. But when he was released I - I couldn't. I had to go back into hiding. With Sam as Lucifer's vessel I couldn't tell you because if Lucifer read Sam's mind then he would have found out about me being your guardian and I would have - I would have had to leave," he finished quietly.

"The info we got said that you were in hiding since you were created," Sam prompted, obviously looking for more information on that subject.

"Where did you find this knowledge?" Castiel questioned, eyes narrowing.

"Some site called bouncing winged fledglings dot com," Sam replied, glancing down to frown at his notes.

Castiel sighed. "I should have known. The man who created that website was once a vessel of Gabriel, a man called Richard Speight Junior. We warned him not to share the knowledge..." He shook his head.

"So everything on that site is true?"

"Most probably, yes."

"So Gabriel really did create platypus' and llamas. Huh. I should've seen that coming," Sam muttered.

"Sam, focus on the important stuff, please," Dean demanded.

Cas looked at Dean, troubled.

Dean crossed his arms. "So you're actually a powerful Archangel who is the Heir to Heaven."

Castiel looked hurt. "You don't have to make it sound like an insult."

"Great. Just great," Dean growled. "So you're not Falling?"

"Um, I thought that was fairly obvious," Cas replied, looking between the two brothers.

"So you're not Fallin'," Bobby said from his wheelchair. "Whoopeedoo. Lay your hands on and get healin'."

The Archangel - Sam would never get used to that - looked stricken. "I can't."

"Well you've apparently got amazing cosmic mojo, so you can just snap Bobby's legs better, can't you?" Dean accused, crossing his arms.

"Dean - I can't - It's not that easy," Castiel tried to explain.

"Why the hell not?!" Dean shouted.

"Cas, why don't you explain from the beginning?" Sam suggested.

"The very beginning," Bobby corrected.

Castiel took a deep breath. "The very beginning..."

* * *

"The birth of Jesus Christ was what you would call a cover-up. Gabriel set it up. Lucifer and his followers' eyes were focused on the so called Son Of God, the human boy Jesus. That was when our Father created me - I was the youngest angel and Gabriel told me that when he first saw me, I was different to other fledglings - smaller, stronger, with larger wings than the others. My wings were said to be black, darker than the depths of Tartarus. Father named me Cassiel, 'Of God'. I was placed in the Archangels' care. According to what Gabriel has told me... They were ordered to raise me as a warrior, a general and as the Heir to Heaven."

"Michael was in charge of my battle training. He was as good a brother as you can expect with his duties to lead Heaven's armies and train our Seraphs. Raphael taught me about healing, though... I always thought he didn't particularly like me much. Gabriel however was more than my older brother. He was my protector, my guide, my teacher and he raised me. He taught me to fly, about humans, about Earth."

"When I was a fledgling, I was raised in a section of Heaven, empty of angels and souls. I am certain that back then, the factions had no idea I even existed. I had no contact with any other Angels other than the Archangels. However, I was forced to start interaction after I learnt to fly. I didn't understand at first why. But then the Fallen came."

"Somehow, they infiltrated Heaven. They killed many young angels and injured our warriors. It soon became clear they were searching for something, or someone. It did not take me long to figure out they were searching for me. We managed to drove them out of Heaven and Michael set up stronger wards, but the Archangels were shaken by the attack."

"After that, they changed my name from Cassiel to Castiel, and placed me as a young angel into a garrison. That was where I met some of my friends - Anna, Uriel, and other angels you have not met. Zachariah was merely a training captain back then. Gabriel used his powers to set up a cover for me - Cassiel the in-training Archangel and Heir was gone, and Castiel the soon-to-be warrior remained."

"I was raised into the garrison, though I did not enjoy it. When Gabriel left... I was distraught. Angry. Furious. I considered it betrayal. I never saw much of Michael or Raphael after that. But then, of course, in 2009, I was summoned. My Father gave me a mission - a Righteous Soul was in Hell, and needed to be rescued."

"I was still in danger of being discovered by Lucifer, and ignored Michael and Raphael's advice and took up the mission, days after Dean was dragged into the Pit. I flew into Hell and eventually, after forty years of searching and fighting demons, I found the Righteous Soul. I flew back up to Heaven with the soul cradled in my arms. I was exhausted, injured and scarred. I took the soul to Earth and recreated his body. The hand-print was the scar on Dean's soul where I hauled him from the Pit."

"So I took up orders again from Zachariah, and I became the Winchester guardian. We fought to stop the Seals breaking, yet I was only permitted to use a Seraph's power. I reconsidered my faith, and was punished; a fact unknown to the Archangels, even now. Zachariah revelled in that. I debated whether to tell you of my heritage and the truth of my status and rank, but then Lucifer rose."

"Heaven was placed into high alert. Michael needed to gain his vessel and take up his sword to defeat Lucifer. However, Dean did not say yes, and neither did Sam to Lucifer. I went into hiding from Heaven and Hell. I knew that I couldn't risk using any of my powers, otherwise Lucifer would discover me. I was forced to take up the guise of a Fallen Angel who lost his powers. It pained me to have to watch you struggle against the Devil without me."

"I knew that the only being who would be able to stop Lucifer without bloodshed would be my Father. Which was why I began the search for God. I tried to contact Raphael, and any angel who had possible seen or been in His presence. Raphael refused to answer. When I contacted you, Dean, saying that I needed help trapping Raphael to interrogate him, I was not lying. I was lucky then that Raphael did not reveal my secret."

"Then Gabriel returned. When you trapped him in the holy fire, I was shocked and angry at him for leaving. When you left, I confronted him. He convinced me to keep my status and rank secret from you. He said that if you knew, then Michael could read your minds and gain my location, and Lucifer would discover me. I knew he was right, though I was conflicted."

"When we went to Carthage, Lucifer bound me in a ring of fire. I was terrified. Yet I knew that I was shielded from him and my wards were active. He had never heard of Castiel the Seraph, the fallen angel, and let it slide. When I heard that Jo and Ellen died, I blamed myself. If I had been there, I could have protected them. But even if they had been injured, I would have been forced to leave them hurt. With Lucifer so close, I wouldn't risk healing them and exposing my power. I was fearful, but guilty and fighting my own will."

"Then, I felt a summoning."

"And you know what happened then."

* * *

There was silence for a moment.

"Crap, Cas," Dean said quietly. "I didn't even - you've been through Hell and back for us, and you've lived in fear your whole life."

"I did not tell you my creation story so you could offer pity and sympathy," Castiel informed them. "You asked for an explanation on why I did not tell you of my true identity and why I could not heal Bobby. I merely provided enlightenment."

"So you can't heal Bobby because if you do, Lucifer could find out about you," Sam realised, troubled.

"Unfortunately...yes," Cas grimaced. "But, however, with your permission, if I were able to place certain sigils and wards around the residence, my Grace should be shielded here and I would be able to use my powers to their full degree and heal Robert's legs."

"Why'd you even have to ask?" Bobby scoffed.

Castiel looked embarrassed. "Because some of the wards only allow an angel to enter the boundaries if they are invited. If I had set these up without you knowing I would not be able to enter the house and answer your prayers. It would be... awkward... to say the least."

"Set 'um up," Bobby said. "I want my legs back as soon as possible."

"Cas, theoretically speaking do you have enough power to kill Lucifer?" Dean questioned, crossing his arms.

Castiel frowned thoughtfully, but answered, "Well, your answer could best be expressed as a series of impartial quantam equations, but the simple answer would indeed be, most possibly, yes."

"There we go then!" Dean said triumphantly. "We have our man! Lucifer won't stand a chance!"

Castiel shifted and looked down at the floor. "Dean. I... would not kill Lucifer unless it was completely necessary. Unless the world is about to burn and humanity to end. Otherwise, I would feel uncomfortable."

Dean stared in disbelief and anger, while Sam and Bobby exchanged looks. They knew what the Archangel was subtly trying to tell them, but obviously the older Winchester brother did not.

"'Uncomfortable'? You would feel 'uncomfortable'?!" Dean said furiously. "Dude, the world is at stake here! Human lives! And your saying you wouldn't kill Lucifer because it would make you feel 'uncomfortable?!"

Castiel narrowed his eyes and stepped forwards angrily into Dean's personal space, his presence radiating power. They could almost see his feathers rustling and twitching angrily, his wings half-spread out to intimidate them. "Mind what you say, Dean. I am an Archangel of the Lord."

"I want to know why you seem to be against saving innocent people!"

Castiel set his blue eyes on Dean's in an intense stare. "Dean, you are asking me - no, ordering me - to _kill _my brother."

"Who might I say is a complete dick! Like all of your other brothers, I might add."

Cas bristled furiously. "If the world was at stake, would you kill Sam?"

"That's not the point!" Dean spluttered.

"I don't see how the situation is any different," the Archangel countered.

"Because, I _know Sam! _You don't know Satan!"

Castiel glared and stepped back slightly, spreading his arms out. "Alright then. Let's put it into different context. If the world was threatened by him, would you be willing to murder Adam?"

_"Don't you dare bring Adam into this!" _Dean roared.

"Dean! Calm down, man!" Sam shouted.

He yanked his older brother back by the arm, and Dean was trembling, his hands curled up tightly into fists. His soul was itching to throw a punch at the angel, knock him down and make him pay for even mentioning their dead half-brother. Sam shot the angel a look, and Castiel gave a small nod. With the sound of fluttering bird wings, Castiel flew off. Dean pulled away angrily and stormed out of the room. Bobby and Sam sighed and exchanged glances.

"We should probably leave him to cool off," Sam suggested.

"Damn idgit's gotta learn when to shut his piehole," Bobby grunted, turning his wheelchair and rolling into the kitchen to grab some whiskey. "We really don't need another royally pissed Archangel on our asses."

Sam sighed, pouring himself a glass of the thick amber liquid. "Yeah. Cas'll probably be busy anyway." He looked upwards. "Hey, Cas, feel free to set up those sigils whenever you like. And ignore Dean, he's an idiot."

"A massive one," Bobby added.

Sam shrugged, lifting his glass of whiskey. "I can drink to that."

* * *

**AN: End of the chapter. Thinking of continuing this.**

**Satisfation: 8/10**

**Review please!**

**Thinking of next doing The Song Remains the Same, except Cas goes with them to meet John and Mary, then at the end he talks with Michael.**

**Plus, should Gabriel survive Hammer of the Gods?**

**Please review! Thanks for reading!**

**I really want to know whether or not to continue this. I could probably get another chapter up by tomorrow if you want it.**


	2. Nightingale's Song

**Title: The Angel of Solitude and Tears**

**Written By: Alexia Blackbriar**

**Summary:**

**Season 5 AU After Carthage. Because Cas was just too awesome to Fall and I felt like the writers were throwing away so much potential. A lot of things haven't been explained. **

**Castiel raised both hand to the Winchester's foreheads and gathered his Grace, shielding them at the same time and focusing on 1978 and on Mary and John Winchester and Anna. He took a deep breath to steady himself before touching the Winchesters and transporting them back into the Vortex. His Grace was practically torn from him, his energy waned dangerously and when they arrived in the era with a crash, Castiel collapsed against a car, trying to support himself and failing.**

**AN: Longer chapter. This is going into The Song Remains the Same. ****Plus, I might add, some characters are a little OOC.**

**In reply to wildanimelover's review, I know Dean and Sam trapping Cas in holy fire is a little extreme, but I wanted it to seem like quite an extreme situation. I mean, Castiel hiding that he is an archangel is pretty big and with his and Dean's 'profound bond' (I think we all know what that _really means _though), I think Dean would probably feel betrayed like he did in S8 Clip Show, when he kept on ignoring Cas and shouting at him.**

**I'm glad you all like it! Just watched Meta Fiction so have some major feels...**

* * *

_Hey, Cas. You said we could pray to you now we know you're, uh, up rank, but figured you still have your phone. Er, don't know whether you know how to listen to voicemails, but, er, just in case. Just had a visit from Anna. She wants to meet with us. It's nearly midnight, I sent you a text with the motel address. Think you could drop in?_

Castiel had spread his wings and flown off immediately to the motel address before even considering the situation. When he landed, Dean was lying on the crap motel sofa and Sam was tapping away at his laptop.

"Anna?" he demanded almost instantly. "Where? Why? What did she say to you, Dean?"

"Whoa, calm down," Dean said, rising. "We haven't seen you in a few weeks; just, take it easy."

"Dean!" Castiel almost shouted. "What did Anna say to you?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "She said she escaped from Heaven Prison, whatever that is, and she needs help. She gave us an address: two-two-five Industrial -"

"I'll go there immediately," Cas announced, spreading his wings to fly off, but Dean caught his wrist.

"Wait, dude, just a minute, okay?"

Castiel stared at him expectantly. Sam looked up from his laptop screen. Dean ran a hand through his hair.

"Look, she - Anna said you handed her over. That true?"

Cas' expression changed from one of determination to anguish. "Dean -"

"Great, so it is true."

"I - I was under orders and I couldn't - I had to, after..." The Archangel cut off, closing his eyes and hanging his head defeatedly. "I told you I was punished for considering disobedience. I wanted to avoid going back - having that done to me... I never wanted that again. Handing Anna over was an order I couldn't ignore."

Dean stared for a moment then questioned, "When you say punished, do you mean... like, torture?"

Castiel grimaced. "That would be an apt description."

Dean blanched and looked like he was about to apologise, comment, but Castiel quickly interrupted him.

"I need to go and find Anna. Nobody escapes from Heaven's prisons. I know that first hand. If she is here on Earth, she'll be here to do their dirty work; possibly here to kidnap you both. I will confront her. I will return as soon as possible."

Dean looked slightly worried. "Dude, just be careful, okay?"

"I am an Archangel, Dean," Cas reminded him.

"Does she know that?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

Cas hesitated. "Yes, but I -"

"There you go. She'll be prepared to fight you."

"Thank you for your concern, Dean. But I am more powerful than her. I should be safe," the angel assured them.

"Maybe we should come," Sam suggested, standing up with his arms crossed.

"Yeah, we're good in a fight. Three against one is better odds," Dean added, looking happier at the suggestion.

"No. Stay here." Castiel waited a moment before saying, "I will be back soon."

* * *

He met with Anna.

They spoke.

She threatened the Winchesters.

She wanted to kill Sam.

He wouldn't let her.

* * *

As soon as Cas entered the rooms and folded his wings, the Winchester brothers were on their feet, greeting him, checking him over for injuries. Dean seemed generally concerned, while Sam was amused at Dean's antics.

"Anna did not want to speak to you," Cas told them, his shoulders slumping. "She wanted to kill Sam."

"What?" Dean cried out, horrified. "Anna? Seriously?"

Cas shook his head, walking over to the table and summoning some chalk, beginning to draw a few Enochian symbols. He was going to track Anna. He began putting together the spell quickly. Sam was to be protected by him, and Anna would not touch him. Sam was sitting on the far bed, looking down at the floor while Dean was pacing back and forth.

"Really? Anna?" Dean repeated. "I don't believe it."

The angel sighed. "It's true."

"So she's gone all Glenn Close, huh?" Dean gave a dark chuckle. "That's awesome."

Castiel straightened up, confused. "Who's Glenn Close?"

Dean shook his head, walking over next to Sam, though he looked amused that Castiel didn't understand. "No one, just this psycho bitch who likes to boil rabbits."

Sam finally looked up, questioning in a flat tone, "So the plan to kill me, would it actually stop Satan?"

Dean turned back to his brother, horrified. "No, Sam, come on."

Sam glared at Dean to shut up before turning back to the angel. "Cas, what do you think? Does Anna have a point?"

Cas shot a glance at Dean, and saw the desperation in the older brother's face. He knew that technically, Anna did have a point. But Sam was his friend. And he was a selfish angel. He wanted Sam to live. So he gave Dean a glance of reassurance and said, "No. She's, uh, Glenn Close."

Looking down, Sam sighed. Relieved, Dean strode over to Cas and observed the angel preparing the spell. Cas continued to throw in myrrh and the tracking ingredients methodically, checking his knowledge once or twice and adding little pieces of scripture to the symbols.

"I don't get it," Dean said, confused. "We're looking for the chick that wants to gank Sam. Why poke the bear?"

Castiel shook his head. "Anna will keep trying. She won't give up until Sam is dead. So we kill her first."

He poured last ingredient, holy oil, into the bowl and began chanting the Enochian spell, focusing on Anna's Grace. The bowl burst into red flames as Cas reeled back as the knowledge of Anna's location plagued his mind, tumbling in like an out of control rock fall, knocking against his Grace painfully. He steadied himself on the chair, trying to keep his breathing under control. He could tell the Winchesters were looking at him worriedly, so he looked up at them.

"I've found her," he announced.

"Where is she?" Dean questioned.

"Not where," he corrected. "When. It's nineteen seventy-eight."

"What?" Sam stood up quickly at joined them at the table. "Why nineteen seventy-eight? I wasn't even born yet."

Oh god. Oh Father. Castiel realised in that split second, the horror overwhelming him. No. Anna couldn't really think - she was going to change history! "You won't be if she kills your parents."

Sam looked like he was about to be sick. "What?"

Castiel grimaced, turning around to face the brothers. "Anna can't get to you because of me. So she's going after them."

Dean stared at him before demanding, "Take us back right now." He sounded completely serious, and furious.

The Archangel raised an eyebrow. "And deliver you right to Anna? I should go alone."

Angry, Dean hissed, "They're our parents. Cas, we're going." It wasn't even a request. It was an order. Castiel _would _take them back.

Castiel shook his head. "It's not that easy." He strode a few steps away, head in hands as he tried to think.

Sam demanded, "Why not?"

Cas sighed. "Time travel is difficult even with the powers of Heaven at my disposal."

Sam looked surprised. "But you're an Archangel. The Son of God. You have enough mojo. Don't you?"

"Technically speaking, yes. But the further back I travel, the harder it gets. Nineteen seventy-eight is reasonably easy - but extremely noticeable. Lucifer and Michael would know our location in moments, unless I shielded us and used more of my Grace. I may not be cut off from Heaven, but I might as well be."

"So, what, you're like a Delorean without enough plutonium?"

Castiel growled, frustrated. "I don't understand that reference. But I'm telling you, taking this trip, with passengers no less, while shielding us from Michael and Lucifer -" Cas shook his head. "It'll weaken me."

Dean walked up to angel, deathly calm, before murmuring quietly, "They're our mom and dad. If we can save them, and not just from Anna... I mean if we can set things right, we have to try."

Cas sighed. "Dean. I understand. But you cannot change history."

"Why the _hell not?" _Dean shouted.

"Because it is extremely dangerous. If you change something in history, you change the future."

"So what, Marty McFly didn't get his kickers. We're still going back!"

"You know I don't understand that reference!" Castiel snarled at him. "And you can't make me do anything, Dean!"

Dean stepped back, wide eyed at the angel's sudden anger. The Archangel sighed and placed his head in his hands warily. He wanted to take the two of them back, but he knew that if he did, his Grace would be weakened. He might not be able to get all three of them back. The angel sighed and looked down, a motion he had copied from Dean, knowing it showed his frustration.

"I want to take you back," Castiel said slowly. "But if I did, I would only be able to do so much. I would not be able to use my Grace, at all. I would be useless."

"Man, your fighting skills are amazing, that's good enough for us," Sam objected.

Cas sighed, giving in. "Alright. But here -" He pulled out an angel blade and handed it to Sam, before pulling out another and giving it to Dean. "Take these."

"Dude, you need one," Dean frowned.

"I have my own," Cas replied. A blade slipped down his sleeved into his hand and he raised it. It was silver like the other blades, but slightly longer with a streak of gold in the hilt and Enochian engraved in the blade. "I cannot use it often as it is known to belong to the Son of God, but Anna already knows, so I see no harm in using it. Also, you should take holy oil and I should teach you some sigils."

"We know the angel banishing sigil," Dean interjected.

"Yes, and if you use it, I will be banished too," Cas reminded them. "Here." He handed them a piece of paper with two new sigils scribbled on it. "These will banish all angels except me, and ward other angels as well. You can use these generally."

"Thanks, Cas."

The Archangel began packing a duffel back for the boys, placing two ceramic jars of holy oil into it, the sigil guide and also their two angel blades, before zipping it up and turning around, taking a breath. He handed the back to Sam before taking a deep breath.

"Ready?" he questioned

Sam grimaced. "Not really."

"Bend your knees," Dean called out.

Castiel raised both hand to the Winchester's foreheads and gathered his Grace, shielding them at the same time and focusing on 1978 and on Mary and John Winchester and Anna. He took a deep breath to steady himself before touching the Winchesters and transporting them back into the Vortex. His Grace was practically torn from him, his energy waned dangerously and when they arrived in the era with a crash, Castiel collapsed against a car, trying to support himself and failing.

"Whoa, Cas!" Dean shouted, getting underneath him and supporting him, his face worried and concerned. "Hey, take it easy, take it easy. Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine," the angel replied, coughing. "That took a lot more Grace than I was expecting."

"You need a rest? We can wait," Sam said anxiously.

"No, it is fine," the angel answered, falling back onto his own feet and testing his weight. He could hold himself up. "We need to find Mary and John Winchester."

Sam still looked uneasy, but jogged off. "I'll search a phone book."

Cas coughed violently again and was shocked at the flash of blood on his hand that came from his mouth. He stared at it. Dean saw his gaze and grabbed his hand, checking it, and when he saw the blood, he swore and guided the Archangel to a bench. They sat there in silence for a while, waiting for Sam to return. Dean handed Cas a hanky when he started coughing again.

"Dude, look, when you say, 'it'll weaken me', you gotta just say, 'Dean, shut up, I'll end up nearly passing out and coughing up blood', okay?" Dean finally said, still worried. "You're like family to us, man."

"Thank you, Dean. I consider you family too." Cas looked around, before turning back. "If I landed like that, then Anna should be much worse. She is much less powerful than me. It will take her a while to gather enough Grace to get to your mother and father. Hopefully, that should buy us enough time."

Sam ran up then, holding a phone book page in his hands. "Found them. The Winchesters. Four-eight-five Robintree."

Dean nodded. "Let's go pop in on the folks. Cas?"

"I can fly you there," the Archangel answered, nodding. "You will not need to steal an automobile today."

"Good. I'm tired of hotwiring," Sam replied with a grin.

* * *

They arrived in front of a small house on a nice street, that had the Impala parked outside of it. The sun was already setting quickly, casting a tangerine hue over the tiles and paintwork, making the brothers smile. Dean and Sam looked impressed by the state of the lawn and the house. Sam quickly crossed the road and Dean and Cas followed. Sam started turning towards the door of the house, looking determined, but Dean caught his sleeve and held him back, pulling him aside to the street.

"Sam. Sam. Wait, wait, wait, wait."

"Dean, Anna could be here any second!" Sam hissed.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "What exactly are we gonna march up there and tell 'em?"

"Uh, the truth," Sam answered.

"What, that their sons are back from the future to save them from an angel? Gone Terminator?" Dean scoffed, annoyed. He shook his head. "Come on. Those movies haven't even come out yet."

Castiel looked up at the house and suggested, "We could tell them that demons are after them."

Sam nodded, agreeing with the angel easily. "Yeah, I mean, she thinks you're a hunter, right?"

Dean snorted. "Yeah, a hunter who disappeared right when her dad died. She's gonna love me." Dean hesitated, thinking for a moment, then motioning for the two of them to follow him. "Just follow my lead."

The three of them strode up to the house and Dean knocked carefully on the door. When it was answered, a pretty woman with kind eyes and blonde hair stared at them in astonishment and then in anger. It was clear that she recognised Dean.

"Hi, Mary," Dean quipped.

Mary shook her head. "You can't be here."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry if this is a bad time."

"You don't understand," Mary hissed angrily. "I'm not—"

Mary stopped, looking at Sam strangely. The younger brother was gazing at his mother with wide eyes, unable to stop staring at her. Castiel nudged him, but it did not break his gaze. Then Mary looked at him, and Castiel stared back defiantly. The female Winchester finally turned back to Dean.

"I don't do that anymore," Mary whispered. "I have a normal life now. You have to go."

Mary moved to try and close the door, and Cas instantly shot his arm out and stopped her from slamming it shut. Mary glared at him, but the angel didn't waver. Dean shot him an appreciative look and Cas motioned to his mother.

"I'm sorry, but this is important, okay?" Dean told her.

There was a clearing of throats and the door swung open, revealing a young man standing beside Mary. Castiel instantly recognised him as John Winchester; his soul was the same. Mary glared at Dean before turning back to her husband.

"Sorry, sweetie, they're just..."

Dean flashed a massive smile. "Mary's cousins! Yeah, we couldn't stop through town without swinging by and saying 'hey', now, could we?" He held out a hand for John to shake, and when he did, he introduced himself, "Dean."

John squinted. "You look familiar."

Mary looked anxious and alarmed.

"Really?" Dean said, frowning fakely. "Yeah, you do, too, actually, you know? We must have met sometime." He gave another big fake smile, shaking his head in amusement. "Small towns, right? Got to love 'em."

"I'm John," John said.

John held out his hand to Sam and Sam stared at it for a moment, seeming to be in shock, and Cas stepped on his foot. Sam quickly took the hand and shook it enthusiastically.

"This is Sam," Dean said.

John nodded. "Sam. Uh, Mary's father was a Sam."

Dean smiled. "Uh, it's a—it's a family name."

John turned back to Sam. He still hadn't released John's hand, and was staring at him. He couldn't get over the fact that this was his father he was talking too.

"You okay, pal?" John questioned curiously. "You look a little spooked."

Sam finally dropped John's hand, startling. "Oh. Oh, yeah. Just a...long trip."

Dean nodded. "Yeah. Oh, this is Cas," he added, shouldering the angel, who nodded at Mary and John respectively. "He's, uh, our cousin too. Different side, but he's travelling with us and wanted to meet Mary."

"Cas, huh?" John asked, seeming to accept this much more easily. "Is that short for something?"

"Yes. It's Castiel," the Archangel replied. "It's an honour to meet you, John. I have heard a lot about you -"

Mary interrupted quickly. "Well, Sam, Dean and Castiel were just on their way out."

John blanched, turning to her. "What? They just got here." He wheeled back around to face their visitors. "Real happy to meet folks from Mary's side." He opened the door wider, smiling. "Please come on in for a beer."

Dean grinned, ignoring Mary's glower. "Twist my arm."

* * *

As soon as John left the three of them alone with Mary to answer the phone, after Sam had made some weird comments and the brothers had almost blown their cover, Mary stood and confronted them furiously.

"You have to leave. Now," she demanded.

Dean blinked and tried, "Okay, just listen—"

Mary interrupted in a rage. "No, you listen. Last time I saw you, a demon killed my parents!" She was whispering loudly, in a hiss. "Now you waltz in here like you're family? Whatever you want—no. Leave me alone."

Sam shook his head and then informed her seriously, "You and John are in danger."

Mary cautiously looked between the three of them. "What are you talking about?"

"Something's coming for you," Dean told her.

"Demon?" Mary asked worriedly.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. "Not exactly."

Mary frantically questioned, "Well, what, then?"

"It's kind of hard to explain, okay?" Dean told her, trying to find his words. "It's—it's—"

"An angel," Castiel interrupted. "It's an angel of the Lord."

Mary laughed nervously. "What? There's no such thing."

"I assure you, we are real."

Mary stared for a moment. She opened her mouth and then closed it. "You can't be serious."

"Castiel's telling the truth," Sam said quickly. "He's an angel."

"Actually, an Archangel," Castiel corrected, turning to Sam.

"I don't -" Mary was shaking now. "Aren't angels the good guys?"

Dean grimaced. "I wish. But they're twice as strong as demons. And bigger dicks."

"Dean," Cas objected, sounding offended.

"'Cept you, Cas. You're awesome."

"Why would an angel want to kill us?" Mary whispered.

Dean shook his head. "It's a long story, and we'll tell you the whole thing, but right now, you've got to trust us, and we got to go." His eyes were shining emerald in the low light and he was upset, they could tell. "Look at my face and tell me if I'm lying to you."

Mary stared for a moment before agreeing quietly, "Okay. Where do we go?"

"Out of here," Sam answered. "We got to move now, though."

"Okay. But what do I tell John?"

"Just tell him—" Dean halted and looked around worriedly. "John?" There was no answer. He turned to the angel. "Cas?"

"I'll search the house." He flew off, checking each room and the hallway, finding a note and picking it up before flying back to the brothers and Mary. Mary looked shocked, but didn't say anything. "He's gone. I found this."

He handed them the note.

_Back in 15 J_

"Oh god," Mary said, close to crying. "Do you think -"

"Where would he have gone? Mary?" Dean demanded, taking her hands and forcing her to look at him.

"I - I don't know. Maybe Woodson's Garage? That's where he works -"

Dean turned to the angel. "Cas? Can you beam us there?"

The Archangel nodded. "Yes. Let's go."

He reached over and tapped Dean and Sam on the forehead, and Mary held Dean's hand. They flew in a split second to outside the garage. Dean dropped his duffel and pulled out the two angel blades, handing one to Sam and taking one himself. Cas let his own blade slip down into his hand. There was a large crash from inside the garage and the four of them rushed inside.

Anna was standing with her angel blade in hand, approaching a terrified John on the ground, defenceless.

"Anna!" Cas shouted.

The angel turned and stared at him in surprise, allowing Dean the split second to dart behind and pull John up. Anna attacked Cas and they clashed blades. Cas clenched his teeth and struck again, swiping out with his sword as the two celestial beings circled each other. Anna spread her wings and flew behind him, trying to lash out at his own wings, but the Archangel pulled back and struck her again, and she parried the blow.

"Losing your touch, Archangel?" Anna said, panting slightly as she circled around him again.

Dean crept up behind Anna with an angel blade and tried to stab her, but Anna whirled around and threw him through the window. Cas struck again, but Anna was ready and slipped past and made a shallow stab in his side. Cas reeled back defensively. Castiel saw out of the corner of his eyes Mary pick up Dean's dropped sword and approach Anna from behind, twirling the blade in her hand.

Anna turned back and parried Mary's blow, and for a few minutes they exchanged strikes and parries, Mary fighting like a professional, ducking and rolling. John was hiding in the corner, wide-eyed. As soon as it looked like Mary was detoriating, Castiel came forwards and took her place, striking and lashing out as the two angels fought and defended. He managed to stab Anna twice, and she winched and flinched and cried out, but didn't fall back or surrender.

Mary grabbed a crow bar and stabbed it into Anna's back.

Anna turned around as Cas pulled Mary behind him. She pulled the crowbar out, smirking.

"It's not that easy to kill an angel," she said.

"No."

Anna wheeled around and Sam was standing there next to a bloody angel sigil that would banish Anna but not Castiel. She blanched at the sight of it.

"But you can distract 'em," Sam shouted. He pressed his palm into the middle of the sigil and Anna vanished with a blast of white light and a scream.

Mary came out from behind Cas just as Dean stumbled in through the door, looking around murderously. Realised Sam had banished her, he deflated and took his blade from Mary. John finally approached out of his corner, wide-eyed, but the terror gone and now it was shock and anger and horror. Cas held his injured side tenderly. She hadn't completely struck his Grace, but it still ebbed slightly.

"Man, that sucked," Dean grimaced. "Everybody okay?"

"I think Cas got hit," Mary said.

"It's alright, merely a scratch," Castiel reassured Dean, as the hunter shot him an anxious look.

"Let me take a look," Sam pressed. When he saw the wound, he made a small distressed noise. "She stabbed you."

"Merely a _scratch_," Cas told him firmly.

John finally asked in a shaking voice, "What the hell was that?"

"That, my friend, was an angel," Dean replied, pursing his lips and crossing his arms.

"I - I don't -"

"Understand? Don't worry," Sam sighed. "You will soon."

"She - she said you were an Archangel," John said shakily, staring at Castiel.

"That would be true," Cas responded, allowing Sam to inspect his wound closer. "Though that is not common knowledge - Sam, please do not prod me."

"It's bleeding."

"It would do. It is a stab wound."

"We need to get out of here," Dean suddenly announced. "Anna could come back any time."

"I second that," Mary said quickly. "We can go to the Campbell house. That's protected."

"I will take us," Castiel announced, raising his hands.

"Whoa, dude, you just got stabbed. You ain't flying us there," Dean protested. He turned to John. "Can we take the Impala?"

John had a hardened look on his face. "Sure. But I am driving. And you are explaining. I want answers. And I want them _now._"

* * *

**AN: Tried to accommodate to Cas being in the ep. I thought with him being an Archangel and all, the effects of the time travel wouldn't be as bad. Plus, this is where Hurt!Cas begins... oh I do love Cas!whump... just warning you.**

**Please review and tell me your ideas!**

**Plus, I need some suggestions for:**

**- Dark Side of the Moon (where the boys get killed by hunters, go Heaven, meet Joshua and find out God doesn't care)**

**- 99 Problems (the Whore of Babylon)**

**- Point of No Return (Dean gives up, the ep where Cas beats him up, and banishes himself when fighting the angels to try and save Adam from Zach the douchebag)**

**- Hammer of the Gods (Gabriel's ep, how Cas is gonna save him (HE WILL LIVE) and what'll happen after that)**

**PLEASE REVIEW AND THANK YOU FOR READING! **


	3. Angel Blade

**Title: The Angel of Solitude and Tears**

**Written By: Alexia Blackbriar**

**Summary:**

**Season 5 AU After Carthage. Because Cas was just too awesome to Fall and I felt like the writers were throwing away so much potential. A lot of things haven't been explained.**

**Out of the corner of his eye, the Archangel saw both Sam and Dean lunging for Anna. Uriel circled him once before leaping. The clash of swords and the fight was off, the Archangel favouring his injured side while striking and falling back defensively. Anna threw Sam and Dean into the wall, and their swords fell to the ground. Momentarily distraced, Uriel grabbed his lapel and swung his around, disarming him of his sword. Cas backed up immediately. The only thing that could kill him was his own blade - that Uriel now held in his hand. John dived for the blades Sam and Dean had dropped but Anna slammed him into the wall.**

**AN: Here you go. Next chapter. This is still Song Remains the Same. Still need ideas for the Season 5 Finale, and some ideas for Season 6 as well.**

* * *

The five of them were sitting awkwardly in the Impala. John was driving, Mary was sitting shotgun, and Castiel was settled in the middle of the two brothers in the back. They had been trying to explain about hunting to John. It seemed like a beginning of a bad joke. An Archangel, the vessel of Lucifer, the Righteous Man, their hunter of a mum and oblivious dad driving along a rode to escape an angel.

"Monsters," John breathed. "Monsters?"

Mary guiltily replied, "Yes."

John shook his head. "Monsters are real."

"I'm sorry," Mary tried, sounding regretful. "I didn't know how—"

"And you fight them?" John said, aghast. "All of you?"

"Yeah," Sam answered shortly.

John shifted his hands on the wheel, looking stubbornly at the road. "How long?"

Mary swallowed nervously. "All my life. John, just try to understand—"

"I am sitting in my car with my wife who turns out hunts monsters, her supposed cousins who fight them too, and an Archangel," John chuckled darkly, shaking his head. "When did my life become this messed up?"

"I was just trying to protect you, I didn't think -"

"You don't need to protect me! I can't - I can't wrap my head around this. You fight monsters? And you've been fighting them your whole life."

Castiel tried to say quietly, "Mary is a courageous fighter, and a great ally to the hunting world -"

"She didn't exactly have a choice—" Dean interrupted, trying to excuse his mother.

John slammed his hands on the wheel, shouting, "Shut up, all of you! Look, not another word, or so help me, I will turn this car around!"

Silence fell. Awkwardly, the angel shifted between the two brothers, who glanced at each other around him. Mary turned back to gaze out of the window, while John accelerated slightly. Street lamps flew by, striking them every few seconds with fresh light.

"Wow," Dean murmured. "Awkward family road trip."

Sam smirked and replied, "No kidding."

"Look, I'm just - having trouble digesting this," John said aloud. "So are you two actually Mary's cousins or was that a lie too? I've already guessed the Archangel isn't."

"Yeah, we're just hunters, who worked with Mary once or twice," Sam answered, exhaling.

"But we are related," Dean added, shooting his brother a look.

Castiel hissed. "Dean," he chastised.

"What do you mean, we're related?" Mary asked, affronted, turning back to stare at the hunter.

"We're actually -"

"Dean!" Cas said, a lot more firmly and intensely this time.

"What? What are you actually?" Mary questioned, frowning.

"Sorry. 'The Archangel' wants me to shut up. Guess you have rules about this kinda thing," Dean shot angrily at Cas.

"Yes, we do. And I told you very firmly earlier that you cannot change events," Castiel responded, equally as angry as the older brother.

Finally, the Impalla pulled up onto the driveway of a normal looking house. It was dark, and looked quite dusty. As they clambered out of the Impala, Castiel looked around at the terrain - yes, this would make good defensive territory, he decided. Mary pulled out a key and unlocked the door, ushering them inside and turning on the lights, illuminating a fairly normal living space.

"Place has been in the family for years," Mary told them, while flipping up a carpet and revealing the Devil's trap underneath it. "Devil's trap. Pure iron fixtures, of course." She began switching on other lights. "Um, there should be salt and holy water in the pantry, knives, guns."

Castiel shook his head. "That will not harm her. The most it will do is make her angry."

Mary crossed her arms. ""So, what will kill it? Or slow it down, at least?"

Sam shook his head, grimacing. "Not much."

Mary laughed nervously. "Great."

"He said not much, not nothing," Dean told her, pulling the duffel bag off of his shoulders. "We packed."

Dean began pulling out the holy oil and the notes with the sigils on them, laying them out before putting his angel blade down on the pile.

"Now, we already have an Archangel up our sleeve," Dean said. "Cas?"

"I can hold her off," Castiel told him. He shuffled uncomfortably. "Though I would not take pleasure in harming or killing her."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Cas, she's tryin' to kill us."

"She's still my sister, Dean," Cas reminded him quietly.

Dean exhaled. "Okay, just - make sure she doesn't get near Mary or John, alright?" He picked up the Castiel approved angel-banishing sigil and passed it to Mary. "If we put this up and she comes close we beam her right off the starship. It banishes angels."

"Won't that banish Castiel then?" Mary questioned.

"No, he's made adjustments to it, he's safe," Sam assured her.

Mary still looked unsure. "Mm."

Sam picked up the two ceramic jars. "This is holy oil. It's kind of like a, like a devil's trap for angels."

"What, so they're trapped inside?" Mary queried, taking one jar and examining the content dubiously.

"Yes, until the flames are extinguished," Castiel answered for her. "No angel can cross the flames, or they will die. That includes myself. I would prefer if you set up the rings away from our offensive positioning."

"Yeah, we don't want our wing man flaming up in the middle of the fight," Dean commented, handing out banishing sigil papers.

"Come on," Sam said, walking towards the hallway, motioning to Mary. "I'll show you how it works. Be careful though, don't spill it over the house. Cas, you might want to stay here, just to be safe."

The angel nodded and watched on as Sam led Mary out of the room. Mary cast one wistful, anxious look back towards her husband before vanishing behind the corner. Castiel turned back to Dean and John.

"What do you want me to do?" Castiel questioned.

"Just stick around, I guess," Dean answered, rummaging around in the duffel. "Keep an eye out for Anna. Can you sense her Grace?"

Cas shook his head. "No, she must be cloaking herself from me."

John was approaching Dean. "Hey, what's the deal with the thing on the paper?" He pointed at it.

Dean looked down at the sigil and handed it to John. "It's a sigil. That means—"

"I don't care what it means," John interrupted, annoyed, before asking, "Where does it go?"

"On a wall or a door," Castiel answered for him.

John turned to the angel, questioning, "How big should I make it?"

Dean shut his eyes. "John—"

"What?" John growled, irritated. "Y'all might have treated me like a fool, but I am not useless. I can draw a damn—" He glanced down at the sigil on the paper, waving it about. "—whatever it is—a sigil."

"Why don't you go help Sam out? Okay?" Dean suggested. "Holy oil is much easier."

"Dean," Cas said quietly.

"Why? What's with this damn thing? Why can't I do it?" John demanded. He tilted his head towards the angel. "Why can't he do it?"

Dean swallowed, answering, "'Cause this has got to be done in...it's got to be done in human blood."

John raised an eyebrow, then picked up a small knife lying on the table next to the duffel bag. He grimaced as he cut a shallow gash into his palm and the deep crimson sprung up. He smirked, looking back up. "So, how big?"

Dean looked impressed. He put the angel blade down, rolling up his sleeves. "'Bout half a metre wide." Then he gave a small chuckle, shaking his head.

John glared at him. "What?"

"All of a sudden, you..." Dean smiled at him. "You really remind me of my dad."

Still smiling gently, Dean took his angel blade and some other warding sigils and marched out of the room, leaving Castiel alone with John. The man dipped his fingers in some of his blood and began sketching out the biggest circle on the wall, glancing back down at the sigil to make sure he was doing it right.

"You don't have to watch me, you know," John said in a clipped voice as he painted his blood. "I can tell you're uncomfortable."

Castiel shook his head. "Not uncomfortable. Maybe slightly confused, yes, but not uncomfortable."

"Confused?" John questioned, turning back to him. "An Archangel, confused. Well, now I've seen everything."

Cas frowned. "That would be impossible concerning the temporal equations of possibility to chance of cause to effect -"

"Don't start technobabbling me," John interrupted, his lips quirking upwards. "So, what's the deal with this angel anyway? Why's she trying to kill us?"

"I, er, believe Dean used the term she was Glenn Close," Cas replied, frowning.

"Oh." That seemed to click with John. "Damn."

"She holds a particular grudge towards Dean and Sam," Cas decided to tell him. "Anna thought the best way to hurt them would be to kill their last remaining relatives - you and Mary."

"And why're you sticking around them?" John asked, continuing to paint the sigil. "Are you like their guardian angel or something? How would those two end up with an Archangel as their guardian?"

"I - that would not be inaccurate," Castiel sighed. "I do consider myself their guardian, yes. I believe I would say... Dean placed himself in danger, and I saved him. Sam soon become vulnerable to certain deities and I became his protector too."

"Troublesome, huh?" John said, smirking, seeming to understand Cas' slightly disgruntled voice. "This hunting monsters job... it's dangerous?"

"Very, yes," Cas answered.

John looked worried.

Castiel quickly amended, "Mary is an expert. You need not concern yourself. She is a very skilled warrior."

"So what kinda monsters are we talking about?" John was still not looking at the angel.

"Demons, vampires, werewolves, wendigos, rugarus, djinns, witches, shapeshifters, dragons, ghouls, ghosts, sirens, wraiths, chupacabra, crocotta, kitsune, skinwalkers, alphas -" The angel immediately cut off when he saw that John was looking nauseous.

He looked slightly sick. "They're - they're all real. All of them." It wasn't even a question. "Great. Just - great."

"There are certain ways to protect yourself and fight against them," Castiel offered. "Salt, holy water, silver, iron, knives dipped in lambs blood, fire, decapitation, beheading, electrocution, stabbing, immolation, smiting - I am really not making you feel any better, am I?"

"No. No, not really," John replied. "But you're an angel, right? Angels fight that sort of stuff?"

Cas shook his head. "No, not usually. We only eliminate demon threats, or significant threats to our host. Hunters fight the other monsters."

"But you're different," John raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, I am... different," Cas said, trying out the new word. "Something... catastrophic... happened and... I changed sides. Rebelled against orders, against my family. I fight now with Sam and Dean, and Heaven hunts me."

"That must be hard," John said, finishing the sigil and moving across into another room to start a new one. "Fighting against your family like that. You're a soldier?"

"Yes, all angels are the warriors of Heaven and soldiers of God's will," Castiel replied. "Though I am not certain on what that is anymore..."

"Have you met God?" John questioned curiously, already half way through the next sigil, becoming faster and surer with his strokes. "I mean, you're an Archangel, right? Aren't the Archangels meant to have seen God?"

Castiel looked down at his feet, trying to hide a small smile. "Yes, I have seen him. Once or twice, but only when I was very young, learning to fly." His smile grew wider as he remembered kind warm eyes gazing at him and a loving smile.

"What was he like?" John asked quietly, staring at him.

Cas looked up, smiling, then shrugged. "I guess you have to have faith about these sort of things. Humans always have had faith in the Father. Faith is about belief, not proof. I guess that's what he was like. Belief." He turned away. "I should check on Mary and Dean, start patrolling the boundaries. Anna is sure to turn up soon."

"Yeah, yeah, of course," John said quickly, turning back to his work.

Castiel walked out of the room instead of flying, as his side was still aching slightly, though it was healing very quickly. On the way out he saw Sam stride past towards where John was walking and shot him a quick smile and a nod. Sam smiled back. When he found Mary, she was pouring the holy oil in careful circles. Cas kept to the edges of the room carefully, and Mary startled when she looked up, not expecting him to be there. She gave him a gentle smile and continued the circles. After a moment, Dean strode in, wiping his hands carefully. Castiel could smell the holy oil on them.

Mary put the holy oil jug down and crossed her arms. "Okay. You said you'd explain everything when we had a minute. We have a minute. Why does an angel want me dead?"

"'Cause she's a dick," Dean replied, completely serious.

Mary gave a small chuckle but shook her head. "Not good enough. I didn't even know they existed, and now I'm a target?"

Dean seemed to be struggling to answer the question without telling Mary who he really was.

"It's complicated," Castiel supplied.

"Fine," Mary said. She drew up a chair and sat down, staring at them both stubbornly. "All ears."

Dean shot Cas a look before turning back to Mary. "You're just gonna have to trust us, okay?"

"I've been trusting you all day," Mary reminded him.

Dean grimaced. "It's kind of hard to believe."

Mary looked angry. She stood up again, grabbed the holy oil and turned away furiously. "All right, then. I'm walking out the door."

Dean turned a pleading gaze on the Archangel. After a second, Cas rolled his eyes and nodded, giving permission.

Dean immediately stated, "I'm your son."

Stopping, turning around, shocked, Mary spluttered, "What?"

"I'm your son," Dean repeated, looking down at the floor. "Sorry. I don't know how else to say it. We're from the year two thousand and ten. Cas zapped us back here."

"You can't expect me to believe that," Mary stammered, glancing about worriedly, still stunned.

Dean stepped forwards determinedly. "Our names are Dean and Sam Winchester. We're named after your parents. When I would get sick, you would make me tomato-rice soup, because that's what your mom made you. And instead of a lullaby, you would sing "Hey Jude", 'cause that's your favorite Beatles song."

Mary was crying now. Tears rolling down her face. She was unable to comprehend what she had just been told. "I...I don't believe it. No."

"I'm sorry, but it's true."

"I raised my kids to be hunters?" Mary whispered, anguished

Dean took Mary's hands. "No. No, you didn't."

She was openly crying now. "How could I do that to you?"

Dean shook his head again. "You didn't do it."

"But... how?" She whispered.

Castiel then explained, "Because you're dead."

Mary stepped back, eyes wide. "What? What happened?"

Dean looked towards the Archangel. "Can I tell her?"

"I suppose. Be careful."

"Yellow-eyed demon," Dean said. "He killed you, and—" He glanced towards the doorway. "John became a hunter to get revenge. He raised us in this life. Listen to me. A demon comes into Sam's nursery exactly six months after he's born. November second, nineteen eighty-three. Remember that date. And whatever you do, do not go in there. You wake up that morning and you take Sam and you run."

"That's not good enough, Dean."

Dean, Mary and Castiel turned towards the doorway to find Sam leaning against it, his eyes dark and sad. He shook his head, coming forwards.

"Wherever she goes, the demon's gonna find her," he said quietly. "Find me."

"Well, then what?" Dean questioned. He pointed at the angel. "And don't you dare say we can't change history. If we have the chance to change this, then we are changing it, understand, Cas? I don't care if we mess up the future and I don't care if you're an Archangel who has to stop us. We're doing this."

"I understand," Castiel nodded.

Sam turned to Mary, saying, "You can leave Dad. That's what. You got to leave John."

"What?" Mary cried out, angered but also distressed.

"When this is all over, walk away, and never look back," Sam urged.

"So we're never born," Dean finished.

"Dean!" Cas shouted, stepping forwards.

But Dean raised his lighter and motioned down at the floor. "You really don't want to come any closer, Cas. You don't get a say in this." Dean took a deep breath and glanced at Mary. "Sam's right."

"I—I can't," Sam whispered. "You're saying that you're my children, and now you're saying—"

"You have no other choice," Dean said roughly. "There's a big difference between dying and never being born. And trust me, we're okay with it, I promise you that."

"Okay, well, I'm not," Mary protested.

"Neither am I," Cas chimed in.

"Shut up, Cas!" Dean hissed.

"How is this going to change things for the better, Dean?" Cas demanded.

Sam interrupted, addressing Mary urgently. "Listen, you think you can have that normal life that you want so bad, but you can't. I'm sorry. It's all gonna go rotten. You are gonna die, and your children will be cursed."

"There—there has to be a way," Mary tried.

"No, this is the way. Leave John."

Mary shook her head desperately, her eyes wild. "I can't!"

"This is bigger than us. There are so many more lives at stake—"

"You don't understand," Mary said, this time insistant. "I can't." She paused. "It's too late. I'm...I'm pregnant."

"No," Dean said, desperately. "You're not - this is - Cas?"

"She tells the truth," Castiel replied. "She harbours two souls. She carries an unborn child within her. You, Dean."

Dean and Sam looked shocked, still trying to absorb this new information. Mary was looking at Castiel sadly, but the angel was too worried about the fact that he could suddenly sense something in the boundaries. He straightened up and his blade fell into his hand. Dean and Sam noticed and their eyebrows furrowed.

"Cas? What's wrong?"

"Anna. She's coming," he announced, checking the window. "She's not alone though. I can sense another angel's Grace with her."

"You're kidding!" Dean growled.

John suddenly rushed in, looking concerned. "Hey, we got a problem," John called out. "Those blood things, the sigils—they're gone."

"Gone as in..." Sam waved his hands, looking for more information.

"I drew one on the back of the door," John said. "I turned around. And when I looked back again, it was a smudge."

Dean pulled open the door, revealing the smudge of blood where the sigil had been. He shut it, looking alarmed. "He's right."

Mary bent down, checking the floor for the holy oil. "There's no more holy oil."

Suddenly the windows shattered as a high-pitched whine sounded, echoing through the house. The hunters grabbed their ears in pain while Cas drew his sword, looking around wildly for the source. The boys pulled out their own swords and placed themselves in front of Mary and John. The glass kept rattling until the whine vanished. Everyone looked up. The door flew open, exploding and landing on the floor in splinters. There was the sound of angel wings and a man entered; a young black man in a suit, who glared in anger and spite.

"Who the hell are you?" Dean demanded.

Castiel was shocked. The Grace was recognisable. He answered for Dean. "Uriel."

Dean looked shocked then pissed, backing off, angel blade gripped firmly. "Oh, come on."

Sam motioned to the other door to Mary and John, holding his own sword. "Go!"

They turned but found a furious Anna blocking the exit. They all backed up into the corner of the room, John and Mary behind them while Cas was out in front, switching his gaze between Uriel and Anna, his stance shifting from defensive into offensive.

"Cas, can you hold em'?" Dean questioned, brandishing his blade at Anna threateningly.

"I'll take Uriel, you two handle Anna," Cas answered.

"Here goes nothin'," Dean murmured.

Out of the corner of his eye, the Archangel saw both Sam and Dean lunging for Anna. Uriel circled him once before leaping. The clash of swords and the fight was off, the Archangel favouring his injured side while striking and falling back defensively. Anna threw Sam and Dean into the wall, and their swords fell to the ground. Momentarily distraced, Uriel grabbed his lapel and swung his around, disarming him of his sword. Cas backed up immediately. The only thing that could kill him was his own blade - that Uriel now held in his hand. John dived for the blades Sam and Dean had dropped but Anna slammed him into the wall.

"John!" Mary screamed.

Sam reached for the blade but Anna picked him up and using her powers, ripped a pipe from the ceiling and stabbed it into the younger Winchester's stomach. Sam collapsed to the ground, dead. Cas turned to try and stop Anna from attacking Mary and John, but Uriel managed to get in front and forced the blade through his vessel's chest. Pain exploded into his Grace and Castiel fell to the floor, writhing and glowing softly. It wasn't a killing blow, but enough to severely harm him.

"Sammy!" Dean roared. "Cas!"

"NO!" Anna cried out at Uriel. "I said don't kill him!"

The room began to shake with cold bright white light. John looked up, his eyes shining with Grace. Anna and Uriel looked shocked and alarmed and fearful. The shaking continued, getting wilder and wilder until they had to hold on to something to stay upright. Then, the shaking and the light stopped.

Anna quickly turned to Mary, raising her sword. "I'm really sorry."

Then John stepped forwards. All fire and ice and fury, his voice deep and powerful. "Anna. Step away from the Winchesters and the Son of God."

Anna lowered her arm, stunned and terrified. "Michael."

The fire in Castiel's chest was blinding, but the pain intensified as he panicked at the thought of his older brother. He couldn't be there. He couldn't be near Dean. Michael in John's body placed a hand on Anna's shoulder and she began screaming as his Grace flowed through her body and she burned, from the inside out, her eyes bursting into flames. Her body vanished the moment it hit the floor.

Uriel was backing up, horrified. "Michael - I didn't know - I didn't think -"

Michael growled. "You have harmed the Heir against orders and against God's will. We will talk your punishment later. Goodbye, Uriel."

Michael snapped his fingers and Uriel disappeared. He turned to the Winchesters and Mary picked up an angel blade, pointing it at him, trembling. Dean just stood there, shocked.

"What did you do to John?" Mary demanded, her voice shaking.

"John is fine," Michael assured her.

"Who—what are you?" she breathed.

Michael have a small smile. "Shh..." He touched Mary's forehead and she fell unconscious to the ground.

The oldest Archangel turned to Dean. "Hello Dean. I believe we need to have a chat."

* * *

**AN: The talks next chapter. What will Michael say to Cas? Plus, you can probably tell I like Cas!whump... a lot. There was a lot of hurt!Cas in Season 5, so yay for me!**

**Please review, and send me your ideas! I love them! Thank you for reading!**


	4. Archangel Grace

**Title: The Angel of Solitude and Tears**

**Written By: Alexia Blackbriar**

**Summary:**

**Season 5 AU After Carthage. Because Cas was just too awesome to Fall and I felt like the writers were throwing away so much potential. A lot of things haven't been explained.**

**Michael cut off. He had never ranted on that long without the younger Archangel interrupting him. He turned and cursed loudly in Enochian. Where Castiel had stood, there was now only a small puddle of blood and a few broken black feathers. He was gone.**

**AN: Hey guys! Thanks so much for all the reviews! It really makes me smile. Hope you enjoy this chapter. We have a lot of Michael and a LOT of Cas!Whump in this chapter.**

**So... Read on. Please review at the end! Thanks!**

* * *

"Well, I'd say this conversation is long overdue, wouldn't you?" Michael said.

Dean didn't look afraid. Instead, he looked determined, and pissed. He pointed at Sam and Cas. "Fix them. Fix them!"

"Alright," Michael said softly.

He knelt down beside his younger brother; he placed one hand on the younger Archangel's shoulder and a spark of Grace ignited between them. Castiel turned his head and when he opened his shockingly blue eyes, they were pained and agonized. He gave a tiny whimper when he spotted Michael above him and tried to shift away but only caused more fire to scorch his chest. There was a large puddle of scarlet glowing blood on the floor around him soaking up into his trench coat.

"Hello, Cassiel," Michael greeted him quietly. "It has been too long. We will talk after this, but for now..."

Michael gently extracted Castiel's sword from his chest, placing it beside him. It vanished, appearing in another veil of reality in a different plane, there for Castiel to summon at will. The older Archangel laid a careful hand on him and gave Cas a burst of his own Grace, flowing it through his vessel like a river. He absorbed it quickly before closing his eyes, slipping into unconsciousness.

"What did you do?" Dean demanded, suspicious.

"I have given him enough energy to heal his wound," Michael explained, rising.

"Why can't you just heal him?"

"The wound was dealt by Cassiel's own sword. There's a saying I believe. _Thines sword is thines bane. _Cassiel is powerful, and his sword is equal to his power. His sword is the only weapon that can kill him. Uriel knew this, and used it against him. He will be severely reprimanded, I assure you. I cannot heal Cassiel because his Grace is more potent than mine, and he would overwhelm me. I can only provide him energy."

Dean was still looking at the Archangel with a suspicious glance. "How did you find us here?"

"When Cassiel's Grace was struck by his blade, he sent out a distress beacon. It is impossibly hard to receive and decipher, but I raised Cassiel and I know his Grace. I was able to follow the beacon here."

"So you're from the future."

"It was fairly obvious, Dean," Michael told him with a small smirk.

Dean, shaking, pointed at Sam. "Fix Sam. Fix him!"

Michael smiled. "First...we talk. Then I fix your darling little Sammy."

Dean frowned. "How'd you get in my dad, anyway?"

"I told him I could save his wife, and he said yes."

Dean scoffed. "I guess they oversold me being your one and only vessel."

Michael gave a small smirk. "You're my true vessel but not my only one."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Dean demanded.

"It's a bloodline."

"A bloodline?"

Michael nodded. "Stretching back to Cain and Abel. It's in your blood, your father's blood, your family's blood."

"Awesome," Dean snorted. "Six degrees of Heaven Bacon. What do you want with me?"

"You really don't know the answer to that?" Michael raised an eyebrow.

"Well, you know I ain't gonna say yes, so why are you here? What do you want with me?!"

"I just want you to understand what you and I have to do."

Dean lifted his head and gave a short bark of laughter. "Oh, I get it. You got beef with your brother. Well, get some therapy, pal. Don't take it out on my planet!"

Michael shook his head sadly. "You're wrong. Lucifer defied our father, betrayed me and attempted to kill the Heir. But still...I don't want this any more than you would want to kill Sam." The Archangel looked down at the floor. "You know, Lucifer, I practically raised him. I took care of him in a way most people could never understand, and I still love him." Michael sighed. "But I am going to kill him because it is right and I have to."

Dean snorted. "Oh, because God says so?"

"Yes," Michael said importantly. "From the beginning, he knew this was how it was going to end."

"And you're just gonna do whatever God says?" Dean shook his head. "What about Cas? He's meant to be the Son of God, the Heir to Heaven and all that crap, right? How come he's against the Apocalypse then if he's supposed to be this perfect unflawed creation?"

Michael hummed. "Cassiel is young, and his opinions are conflicted. When our Father left Heaven, Cassiel was distraught and confused. He does not know what he is doing. I, however, am confident and follow orders. I will kill Lucifer. I will do what the Father orders, because I am a good son."

"Okay, well, trust me, pal. Take it from someone who knows—that is a dead-end street."

Michael stepped closer and his eyes burned with the fires of Hell. "And you think you know better than my father? One unimportant little man." He smirked. "What makes you think you get to choose?"

"Because I got to believe that I can choose what I do with my unimportant little life."

Michael shook his head. "You're wrong. You know how I know? Think of a million random acts of chance that let John and Mary be born, to meet, to fall in love, to have the two of you. Think of the million random choices that you make, and yet how each and every one of them brings you closer to your destiny. Do you know why that is? Because it's not random. It's not chance. It's a plan that is playing itself out perfectly. Free will's an illusion, Dean. That's why you're going to say yes. Oh, buck up. It could be worse. You know, unlike my brothers, I won't leave you a drooling mess when I'm done wearing you."

Dean looked worried. "Well, what about my dad?"

"Better than new. In fact, I'm gonna do your mom and your dad a favor."

"What?"

"Scrub their minds. They won't remember me or you."

Dean looked shocked. "You can't do that."

"I'm just giving your mother what she wants. She can go back to her husband, her family—"

"She's gonna walk right into that nursery!" Dean shouted.

Michael raised his eyebrows. "Obviously. And you always knew that was going to play out one way or another. You can't fight City Hall."

"If free will's an illusion, buttercup, then how come Cas has it?" Dean asked. "He's fighting against your plan! He's doing what he thinks is right and ignoring what you douchenozzles order, 'cos he's better than you."

Michael's eyes flashed. "Like I said, Dean. Cassiel is very confused and conflicted. He is unsure in his mission because he is no longer guided in his teachings. However, that will be rectified. We have plans for him."

Dean's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"Do not concern yourself with my younger brother, Dean Winchester," Michael told him. "He is in safe hands."

"You keep your hands off of Cas, you son of a bitch!" Dean shouted angrily.

Michael raised his eyebrows and turned back to Sam, pressing his fingers to his forehead. He vanished and Dean startled. "Your brothers is healed and safely in your motel room in two thousand and ten. I will send you back. I want words with my brother."

"No," Dean said angrily. "You send Cas back with us."

Michael smirked again. "What makes you think you have a choice?" He raised his hand.

_Dean! _Cas's voice burst into his mind. _As soon as you get back to the future, pack up and drive to Bobby's as fast as you can! I will meet you there!_

_But Cas -_

_Just DO IT._

Michael touched his forehead and Dean disappeared, back into the future. As soon as he was gone, Michael turned around to face his little brother, who was now conscious and dragging himself to his feet, trying to stem the blood flowing out of his chest wound. Michael stepped forwards, concerned, but Castiel hissed and the older angel stepped back again.

"Always so uncontrollable, aren't you, Cassiel?" Michael commented.

"That is not my name. My name is Castiel," Castiel replied, his eyes narrowing, though he was truly exhausted, his Grace wavering. His vessel had lost a lot of blood.

"Well then _Castiel_," Michael said. "You took a reckless risk today. You could have killed yourself."

"So?" Cas said.

"It is my responsibility to protect you."

"It was never your responsibility to protect me," Castiel hissed. "It was your job to make me into a soldier. Gabriel raised and protected me. You stood by."

"I fought against the Fallen and guarded you from Lucifer."

Cas gave a broken laugh. "And look how that turned out."

"Castiel, stop this nonsense."

Castiel shook his head, turning away. "You can't tell me what to do anymore, Michael. I am not a fledgling anymore. I am more powerful than you, and I have free will."

"Like I said to Dean, free will is an _illusion_," Michael said calmly. "You really think, Castiel, that you being picked to save the Righteous Man from hell was _chance_? Father knew this would happen. He knew you would side with the Winchesters. Our plan is working out perfectly." Michael crossed his arms. "Well, apart from this. You, on the run from your family. Father will not be pleased, Castiel. He ordered me to protect you, but you are quite the stubborn child. Now all I have to do is put you back in line. You can't fight Fate, Castiel. I _will _fight Lucifer, and you _will _watch by."

"What makes you think I won't escape you again?" Cas asked. "I've done it before."

Michael chuckled in amusement. "You never really escaped us, Castiel. We _let _you go. We knew that without you in the picture, the Winchesters would never play their part."

"But I - I rebelled, I didn't - I went against Zachariah's -"

"Yes, you did, which was unexpected. Zachariah was severely reprimanded when he lost sight of you. But no matter. With Lucifer back in the equation, all will be put right again. I will fight him." Michael strode forwards towards him. "You have responsibilities in Heaven," Michael told him. "We have decided that with our Father missing, you should return and take up your creation rite."

"No," Castiel replied immediately. "No, I'm not going back. I'm staying with the Winchesters."

"You do not get a choice in this, child."

"Leave me alone! I'm not going with you!" Cas snarled.

There was a heartbeat and then Michael commented dryly, "I find it amusing that you think you can fight me."

"I can and I will," Castiel replied. "I'm not going back to Heaven."

"You are injured and weak," Michael chuckled. "You think you could stand against me?"

"Yes," Cas said, raising his head.

"I will not fight you, Cassiel," Michael said. "I came today because I sensed your Grace in danger. Uriel could have killed you. It is too dangerous down here for you. With Lucifer out of the cage and on Earth, he will discover you and you will be in grave peril. You will return to Heaven with me and take your position. You do not get a choice in the matter and if I have to, I will drag you back kicking and screaming. If I have to, I will wipe your memories of the Winchesters. You _are _coming with me, Cassiel. You will not -"

Michael cut off. He had never ranted on that long without the younger Archangel interrupting him. He turned and cursed loudly in Enochian. Where Castiel had stood, there was now only a small puddle of blood and a few broken black feathers. He was gone.

* * *

"And what? Michael just zapped you back here?" Sam said, sitting back in the Impala's passenger seat. The street lamps lit them dimly. There was hardly any cars on the road, so of course, Dean was breaking the speed limit. The Impala's engine rumbled in the background, soothing them.

"Yeah, leaving Cas there with him. He said he wanted to talk to him," Dean answered, his hands gripping the wheel tightly. "I'm worried, man. Real worried. Michael said they had plans for Cas, like, real plans. Said that Cas was confused and stuff, and he was going to fix that. I just can't help thinking something bad's gonna happen."

"Yeah, me too," Sam replied. Silence for a moment, and then Sam said quietly, "They all think we'll say yes."

"I know, it's getting annoying."

Sam looked out of the window. "What if they're right?"

Dean shook his head. "They're not."

"I mean, why, why would we, either of us? But...I've been weak before..." Sam was looking down at his lap, twisting his hands together.

"Sam, no. Don't," Dean groaned.

"Michael got Dad to say yes," Sam reminded him.

"That was different. Anna was about to kill Mom," Dean told him. "Are you tellin' me you're thinking about saying yes to Lucifer?"

"What? No!" Sam protested. "No, of course not. I just - if Michael got Dad to say yes -"

"Michael manipulated Dad," Dean said firmly. "That won't happen with us. We know about him and Lucifer. We know what they can do. They're dicks."

There was silence again, only the sound of tires on asphalt. It was companionable. They had already been driving for seven hours to get to Bobby's, on Cas' instructions. They were beginning to get worried. What could Michael possibly want with the younger Archangel?

Suddenly, there was a crash from behind them and a soft thump and a groan. Dean swerved the car, startled, before gaining control. Sam turned his whole body to see the blue-eyed dark-haired angel curled up on his side panting heavily with both hands on his bloody punctured chest. His trench coat and shirt were now red. Blood dripped onto the seat from his chest.

"Cas?!" Sam shouted. "What -"

"Son of a bitch, you made it," Dean said, relieved.

"Yes, I did. I'm very surprised. I'm sorry - I - It was a hurried landing," Castiel said in a strangled voice. "Dean, I apologise, I'm bleeding all over your car."

"I'll pull over," Dean said worriedly.

"NO!" Castiel protested loudly. "You can't! Michael's chasing us."

"Chasing us?! The hell did you say to him?!" Dean demanded, stepping down on the accelerator while glancing back at the injured bleeding angel in the back seat.

Cas coughed then answered, "He was going to drag me back to Heaven. He was ranting so I escaped while he wasn't looking. I used the extra energy he gave me to ward the car and shield myself from his search attempts while flying. He knows where the motel you were staying is, he'll be chasing after us."

"He can't find us, right? Those symbols on our ribs?" Dean questioned.

"He can't track you - but he can track me. Or, my vessel," Cas said, turning his head weakly. "He has my blood. He'd be able to pull up a tracking spell easily."

"Can you do anything to stop it?" Sam asked.

"Yes - I've placed wards - it took a lot of Grace, that's why I'm not healing," Cas explained through gritted teeth.

"Dude, that's a lot of blood," Sam said, looking concerned, motioning to the angel's still bleeding chest.

"Oh, er, yes," Cas answered, his eyes bleary. "How long will it take to get to Bobby's?"

"'Round an hour, why?" Dean asked.

"I think I can hold out that long," Cas breathed, closing his eyes and stretching out slightly with a grimace.

"Dean, pull the car over."

"NO!"

"Cas, it's okay, I'm just gonna get into the back with you and make sure you don't die before we get to Bobby's."

"You're not gonna die, right?" Dean asked hurriedly, anxious.

"Can humans die from losing blood?" Castiel asked, his voice weak.

"Yeah," Dean replied, worried. "Yeah, they can."

"You might want to go faster then."

* * *

When they finally got to Bobby's an hour later, Castiel was unconscious, breathing shallowly in small tiny pants and he must have spilt over half of his vessel's blood all over the Impala's back seat. His Grace had continued to leak out of the chest wound during the hour car ride with him, and Sam had desperately been trying to stem the flow with one of his spare plaid shirts. Luckily, Dean had phoned ahead, so Bobby was waiting outside for them in his wheelchair when they finally pulled up at the salvage yard as the sun was setting below the horizon.

"Get 'im inside," Bobby ordered, holding his shotgun tightly. "Quickly, boy!"

They laid the unconscious Archangel on a cot in Bobby's study, stripping him down to his waist and wiping up the blood with wet clothes before disinfecting the stab wound and loosely bandaging it. Cas must have been trying to heal it, because it was better and the glint of bone could no longer be seen through the flesh. Dean and Sam had got into a heated argument about stitching the wound, but Bobby had just yelled at them to shut up and ask the angel when he woke up.

Dean picked up some whiskey, settling on the sofa. "Well, I could use that drink now."

Sam grimaced, washing his hands of blood. "Yeah."

Dean poured two glasses and handed one to his brother as he came to sit down next to him. Bobby had gone back to researching another hunt already, leaving the brothers in charge of their injured ally. They watched the Archangel for a moment before turning back to nursing their drinks.

"Well...this is it," Dean sighed.

"This is what?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow while taking a sip.

"Team Free Will," Dean announced proudly. "One ex-blood junkie, one dropout with six bucks to his name, and Mr Comatose over there. It's awesome."

Sam looked down at his whiskey. "It's not funny."

Dean took a large gulp. "I'm not laughing."

"So what do you think Michael said to Cas? I mean, they're brothers, right? Cas said he was gonna drag him back to Heaven."

"I dunno, man. Michael kept going on about the Apocalypse being God's will and stuff. But really, who's he fooling? Cas is meant to be God's Son and have this massive connection to him, and he's fighting the Apocalypse. He's joined our side. What does that mean? To be truthful, I don't think even he knows what his Dad wants anymore." Dean gave a dark chuckle. "You think he'd do something, man. God, that is. I mean, his kids are nuking it out upstairs, killing each other, fighting over who gets to smite the Earth first and he doesn't even give a damn anymore. Just another dead-beat dad who couldn't care less about his kids."

"My Father is not neglectful."

The brothers looked up to find exhausted pained cobalt eyes gazing at them weakly. They stood up hurriedly and rushed to the angel's side. Castiel turned his head towards them slowly, shifting his arms and legs and blinking tiredly. He was trying to get up, weakly placing his arms underneath himself to try and lever himself off of the cot. All he achieved was half-dumping himself onto the cold floor. Dean and Sam quickly caught his falling side and gently placed him back onto the cot.

"Hey, Cas, take it easy. Stay there. How you feelin'?" Dean asked worriedly.

"My Father is _not _neglectful," Cas insisted, his voice slightly slurred.

"Of course not, Cas," Sam said quickly, because Dean's face had fallen he was frowning, about to reply with something that only could be offensive and nasty to the angel. "Whatever you say. How's your wound? Is it hurting?"

"No...no...you have'ta understan'," Cas was slurring at them, grabbing Dean by his sleeve and repeating once again in a desperate, insistent voice, "My Fath'der is _not _negle'tful, Dean. He's jus'... jus' givin' angels free will. Want us ta... make own cho'ces."

"Yeah, of course, Cas," Dean said, checking the angel's head for a fever. It was slightly warm, but not hot. It was probably just the exhaustion that was making the Archangel so delirious.

"He's used ta...used ta watch me flyin'," Cas told them, smiling weakly and tossing slightly, still tugging on Dean's wrist as Sam began checking the chest wound again. "Used ta say I was _sooo_ fast."

"What?" Dean seemed surprised. "You've spoken to God."

"'Course, Dean," Cas replied, turning to him and staring with half-lidded blue eyes, riddled with tiredness and slight pain. "We had...what'adose things humans 'ave when they sit on blan'ets and eat lot'sa food outside?"

"Picnics," Dean supplied.

"Yeah, them. We use'sta 'ave picnics when I was'a fledg'lin'." Cas sighed sadly. "Don't see 'im anymore 'tho', he went 'way when Luc - Luc - Luc'fer 'ttacked Heaven. Didn' even say goodbye."

"Cas, do we have to stitch your wound?" Sam asked quickly, because the angel's eyes were closing.

"Wha - no, no, ya shouldn' 'ave to. Should 'eal up on it's 'own soon," Cas sighed. Then he fell back into unconsciousness with a small whimper, falling limp.

Sam finished checking the wound - it was now not as deep or as wide, definitely healing well - and replaced the bloody bandages before draping a blanket over the Archangel. Dean placed Cas' arms on the bed in a comfortable position before picking up the bottle of whiskey and pouring them both new glasses. Sam looked upset as he looked down into the potent amber spirit.

"I didn't even - I never even - wow," he finally said, looking up at his older brother. "That was - that was deep."

"Well then," Dean said, blinking. "God apparently used to have picnics with Cas."

After a moment, Sam questioned curiously, "I wonder what they had in their sandwiches."

Dean sent him a weird look. "Dude, the hell?"

Sam sent him bitch face no.23. "What? I'm curious."

"Yeah, ask Cas that when he wakes up. 'Hey Cas, just wondering, what kind of sandwiches did God eat?'" That's just messed up."

"He probably won't even remember telling us this," Sam said quietly, looking down at the Archangel sadly. "It's kind of depressing really. We always thought that God was frankly a -"

"Dick-headed douchebag, yeah, go on."

"But... I dunno. I kinda feel better know I know that he spent time with his kids," Sam said, with a small smile. "Especially if he spent time with Cas. I mean, it must have been such a massive shoulder weight to be the Heir to Heaven, to be born into something you couldn't escape from, even by running."

Dean's face softened. "Yeah, kinda like us."

Sam looked up, stunned. "That's not what I meant -"

"I know what you meant, Sammy," Dean said. "And yeah. I consider Cas my brother too."

Sam was silent for a moment, then he stated, "I think we should ask Cas to stick around, for a while. Just a hunt or two. He could use a break from this God hunting crap."

"Good idea. I'll leave you to convince him," Dean grinned widely, clapping him on the shoulder and walking towards the door with the whiskey bottle in hand.

"Wha - no, Dean! He likes you better!" Sam protested. "You ask him!"

"Hey, you wanted to ask Cas about God's sandwiches," Dean said, winking. "I'm givin' you the chance."

"Dean!" Sam protested loudly, embarrassed. "Dean!"

"Have fun, Sammy!" Dean called back, vanishing behind a corner into the yard, laughing.

"Jerk!" Sam shouted.

"Bitch!" Dean replied, his voice fading away.

Sam sighed and looked down at the unconscious angel below him. "So, I guess it's just you and me now, huh." He paused then wondered aloud, "Does God like pie?"

* * *

**AN: thanks for reading! Please review! Love suggestions and ideas! Thanks!**


	5. Indulgence's Dearth

**Title: The Angel of Solitude and Tears**

**Written By: Alexia Blackbriar**

**Summary:**

**Season 5 AU After Carthage. Because Cas was just too awesome to Fall and I felt like the writers were throwing away so much potential. A lot of things haven't been explained.**

**Well, the couple ate each other to death. That was freaky. Then another couple shot themselves. That just made the whole thing weirder. There was also the fact that it was Valentines Day, which made it even worse. So there they were at the morgue examining organs of dead people. Sam pulled on the plastic gloves beside Dean and began carefully examining the organs of the two dead people.**

**AN: Haha... hey guys... remember me? Yeah... er... *nudges chapter over with toe*.**

* * *

"Hey dude," Dean said, tapping away at Sam's laptop. "So get this, think I've got us a job. Well, it ain't much, but could be something."

"Yeah?" Sam questioned through his mouthful of cereal. "What then?"

"Well, there was this couple and they ate each other."

Sam paused then took the spoon full of cereal out of his mouth and pushed the box aside, staring. "You mean, actually -"

"Actually ate each other, yeah," Dean grimaced. "Ate each other to death." He frowned at the police report. "Ate each other's skin, actually ripped each other's ribs apart... cops found the organs all over the floor."

"Wow," Sam said dryly and shortly. "That's -"

"Yeah, I know," Dean said, frowning. "Think it's worth it? It's only a few towns over, two hours tops."

"Well we have nothing else to do," Sam sighed. "Think we should take Cas along?"

Dean shrugged. "Ask him."

The two brothers stood and strode into Bobby's study where they found the Archangel sitting up and rubbing his chest, frowning. When the Winchesters entered, he looked up and smiled briefly in greeting before going back to rubbing his aching chest. His wound had healed up a few days ago but the brothers had requested that he stick around so they could keep an eye on it for the time being. Also, Cas still thought Michael was out to get him, so he wanted to stay with the Winchesters for a few hunts. The brothers had been fine with it - well, actually freakin' delighted - and they had decided to set up their HQ at Bobby's. Castiel was slowly layering on the sigils and wards, and he reckoned that in a few days time he would be able to heal Bobby's legs and use his Grace freely at his leisure around the salvage yard.

"Think we've got a hunt," Dean told the angel. "You game?"

"I'm game," Cas replied slowly. "Though I would like to remain behind here for a while. I am in the middle of setting up a particularly complex ward. If you phone me later I will meet up with you there."

"Yeah, sure," Dean agreed easily. "See you later. And er..." He gave a small smile. "Take it easy, okay? You're still recovering from being stabbed by junkless."

"Thank you, Dean," Cas said gratiously.

"Dude, you got _stabbed_. That grants a free pass to lazy days in anybody's book," Dean laughed. "Try not to annoy Bobby too much while you're here. By the way, he really hates it when you change the whiskey to water." He winked.

"IDGIT!"

"...and he heard me. Awesome. Gotta escape his wrath now, Cas, see you later!"

"Goodbye, Dean."

"WAIT JUST A SECOND, YA IDGIT."

"I apologise, Bobby, Dean has gone."

"Now ya listen to be me. Go anywhere _near _my alcohol, feathers -"

* * *

Well, the couple ate each other to death. That was freaky. Then another couple shot themselves. That just made the whole thing weirder. There was also the fact that it was Valentines Day, which made it even worse. So there they were at the morgue examining organs of dead people. Sam pulled on the plastic gloves beside Dean and began carefully examining the organs of the two dead people.

"Hey," Dean said. He handed Sam one of the hearts they were examining, smirking. "Be my Valentine?"

Sam rolled his eyes, taking the heart, then his eyes widened. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second. These hearts both have identical marks. Check this out."

He showed it to his older brother, and Dean frowned down at the tiny mark.

"It looks like some kind of letter," Sam commented, then he grimaced. "Oh, no." He leant backwards and ran a hand through his hair.

"What?" Dean demanded, leaning forwards.

"I think... it's Enochian," Sam said, looking at the marks closely, squinting at the hearts.

"You mean like angel scratches?" Dean questioned. "So you think it's like the tagging on our ribs?"

Sam shook his head. "Dean, I don't know."

Dean rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone. "Ah, hell. Time to call the expert in."

"Dude, he's busy doing that sigil," Sam protested.

"Well, do you know anybody else who speaks fluent angelbabble?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow. He turned around, phone to his ear. "Cas, it's Dean. Yeah, room 31-c, basement level...St. James medical center."

As he turned around, he found the Archangel standing directly in front of him, only a few centimetres away. Cas was still holding the phone up to his ear, staring at the brother, and Dean was staring too. They stood there for a moment, looking at each other silently.

"I'm there now," Cas said into the phone.

"Yeah, I get that," Dean said.

After a moment, Cas stated, "I'm gonna hang up now."

"Right," Dean agreed hurriedly, putting his phone away. "Sorry to call you, did you finish that ward thing?"

"Yes. What do you need?"

Sam piped up, "We think we've found some Enochian on these hearts. And neither of us speak Enochian, so..."

"Of course," Cas nodded. He strode up to the table and picked up one of the hearts, without putting any gloves on. He glanced at the mark for only a second before nodding, "You're right, Sam. These are angelic marks. I imagine you'll find similar marks on the other couples' hearts as well-"

"So, what are they?" Sam asked. "I mean, what do they mean?"

"It's a mark of union," Cas explained. "This man and woman were intended to mate."

"Okay, but who put them there?" Dean questioned, looking at them both.

Cas put the heart down and wiped his hand on his recently washed trench coat. "Well, your people call them 'Cupid'."

"A what?" Sam spluttered.

Cas nodded. "What human myth has mistaken for 'Cupid' is actually a lower order of angel. Technically it's Third Triad Cherub, third-class."

"Cherub?" Dean snorted.

Cas sighed. "Yeah, they're all over the world. There are dozens of them."

"Dozens?" Sam repeated. "Like -"

"In the low hundreds, I would presume," Castiel told him.

Dean was chuckling under his breath. "Cupid? You mean the little flying fat kid in diapers?"

Cas looked offended. "They're not incontinent."

Sam shot his brother a look. "Okay, anyway. So, Cas -"

"There's a cupid somewhere in this town, working. He's been marking the people to mate."

"Can he do that?" Dean questioned.

Sam turned to his brother with bitch face no. 12. "Dude. It's a _cupid._"

"But do they actually have bows and arrows and stuff?" Dean asked, turning to Cas with a grin.

"Yes, and they can be quite lethal."

Dean's smile dropped. "What do you mean?"

"They may be lower-class, but they are highly skilled in combat. Particularly in archery."

"So he's been killing these people?"

Castiel shook his head. "Not necessarily. But possibly, yes. I believe he would be quite resentful."

"How do you mean?" Dean asked, confused.

Castiel stared at him a moment before saying, "You should read a book once in a while, Dean. You might actually learn something." Dean looked shocked at the angel's sassy response. Cas turned to Sam. "Sam, care to enlighten your brother?"

"Well, if the cupids are lower-class then they have to be organised and led. Cupids mark people to mate, so that's love. Their boss would most likely be the angel of love. And the angel of love is Anael."

"Anael?" Dean furrowed his eyebrows.

Sam raised his eyebrows.

Dean's jaw dropped. "Crap, you mean Anna?"

"Your brother's correct," Cas said, nodding.

"So now we have pissed cupids because Anna's dead? Dude, how is this fair?!"

"So they're doing this for revenge because of Anna?" Sam asked.

Castiel shook his head. "For Cherubs it is impossible to hate. They were created to give praise to God and to love every one of his creations. It has been written deep into their Graces to love all humans. Hate isn't physically possible for them, neither is revenge."

"So how come this cupid is -"

"I'm not sure," Cas said, looking troubled. "I've never heard of this happening before. If this is what is happening."

Sam brightened then stated, "Well, you're an Archangel, right? Can't you just order it to stop?"

"That wouldn't work," Castiel responded. "The cupids are generally detached from the rest of the host. They take their orders from their commander, organiser and distributer, which is Second Triad. It isn't written into the system."

Sam and Dean looked confused and Castiel sighed.

"Angels and Archangels are ranked into Triads.

"First you have the First Triad; the Seraphim, the Cherubim and the Thrones. The Seraphim are the most powerful, the Cherubim the second and the Thrones the third. The Seraphim are commanders of the full host and the True Servants, of the highest order. I am a Archangel Seraphim. The Cherubim are angels of wisdom and harmony and the Thrones are angels of justice and will.

"Then you have the Second Triad; the Dominions, the Virtues and the Powers. They are garrison leaders, manage the elements of Earth and keep track of history and the future. The Dominions usually give the orders to the other angels, receiving their orders themselves from angels of the First Triad. The Virtues are communicators with the humans; they send energies to religion and manage faith and belief in humans. The Powers are in charge of defence and protection. They work with the Dominions to manage guardians and our armies.

"Then you have the Third Triad; the Principalities, the Archangels, the Cherubs and the Angels. We're all part of the Third Triad. The cupids are in the Third Triad, the Cherubs. In each Triad they have different classes. Cupids are Cherubs, third-class, and that's technically the lowest order of angel. All the classes in the Third Triad have commanders, organisers and distributes from the Second Triad. Anna was from the Second Triad. Even though I am a Seraphim of the highest order, I can't command the cupids because that's not how the system works."

"Sam, are you taking notes?"

Sam looked up to find Dean and Castiel staring at him. He carefully put his notebook away, shrugging. "So? What if I was?"

"The cupids had a leader. That was Anna, but now it would be -" Castiel closed his eyes for a moment, before nodding and reciting, "Shekinah. She's the angel of unity. She wouldn't have sent the cupids to kill people; she's a good angel. So this cupid must have been cut off."

Sam looked nauseous. "So what you're saying is -"

"What I'm saying is a Cupid has gone rogue and we have to stop him - before he kills again."

Sam looked down, sighing. "Naturally."

Dean nodded. "Of course we do."

* * *

They were in a diner now, a nice one that was decorated with hearts and little statues of fluffy winged angel babies with bows and heart-shaped arrowed. Dean had laughed at the disgusted and offended look on Cas' face as they sat down in a booth together. The waitress brought over Dean's cheeseburger and Sam's salad. Cas was gazing around the place, squinting slightly looking for signs of the cupid.

Dean picked up his burger, turning to Cas. "So, what, you just happen to know he likes the cosmos at this place?"

Cas nodded absentmindedly, still searching the place. "This place is a nexus of human reproduction. It's exactly the kind of -" He paused as he watched Dean put ketchup on his cheeseburger. "Um, kind of garden the Cupid will come to pollinate."

Dean stopped and blinked, the put the cheeseburger down.

Sam stared at him in disbelief. "Wait a minute. You're not hungry?"

"No," Dean answered. At Sam's raised eyebrow, he snapped, "What? I'm not hungry."

Castiel suddenly straightened up, his eyes darting around. "He's here."

"Where?" Sam asked. "I don't see anything."

Cas nodded with his head. "There."

There was a couple making out quite intimately on the other side of the diner. Sam and Dean grimaced.

"You mean the same-side-of-the-booth couple over there?"

"Meet me in the back."

When the two hunters turned, the sound of rustling feathers signified Cas' flight off. They jumped up immediately and pulled out their FBI badges, easily getting access to the back room of the diner. When they ran in, they found the Archangel standing with one hand out, in a firm position, eyes closed.

"Cas, where is he?" Sam questioned, looking around.

"I have him tethered," Cas said breathlessly, closing his eyes again and chanting, "Zoda kama mahrana. Manifest yourself."

They waited for a second.

"So, where is he?" Dean demanded impatiently.

Then, suddenly, a fat naked dude appeared and started squishing the life out of him from behind. Dean got lifted up and down, the air rushing out of his lungs as the 'cupid' laughed joyfully, hugging him tightly.

"Here I am!" the cupid called out happily, still practically strangling him.

In a strangled voice, Dean cried out, "Help!"

"Oh, help is on the way," the cupid chuckled. "Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Hello, you!"

The cupid dropped Dean and began walking over to Castiel, grinning wildly. Castiel shut his eyes tightly as Cupid grabbed him around the waist and embraced him very, _very _tightly, knocking the breath out of the Archangel, who stood there awkwardly. His chest twinged in pain, his wound being compressed and sending a spike of agony through his Grace.

"This is Cupid?" Dean wheezed, still trying to get his lungs back in order.

"Yes," Cas replied, choking.

Then Cupid released Cas and turned to Sam, beaming. "And look at you, huh?"

Sam shook his head desperately. "No." He hurriedly turned away but Cupid appeared in front of him, hugging him too. Sam looked like he was about to be sick.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" the cupid squealed.

Dean strode up to beside Cas, questioning, "Is this a fight? Are we in a fight?"

Cas winced. "This is... Their handshake."

"I don't like it," Dean growled.

"No one likes it," was Cas' response.

Cupid released Sam and turned around, facing them, still grinning. "Mmm. What can I do for you?"

Castiel stepped forwards. "Why are you doing this?"

The cupid looked confused. "Doing what?"

"Your targets, the ones you've marked, they're slaughtering each other," Cas informed him.

Cupid looked shocked and upset. "What? They are?"

"Listen, birthday suit, we know, okay?" Dean snarled. "We know you been flittin' around, popping people with your poison arrow, making them murder each other!"

Sam shook his head. "What we don't know is why."

Cupid stared at them all. "You think that I - Well, uh...I don't know what to say." He was very upset, and turned away and began crying quite bashfully.

Cas, Dean and Sam grouped and gazed at the crying cupid awkwardly.

"Should...Should somebody maybe... go talk to him?" Sam suggested.

Dean nodded." Yeah, that's a good idea. Give 'em hell, Cas." He slapped the Archangel on the shoulder, as did Sam.

Cas shot them both a glare but then nodded encouragingly. He walked up to the cupid and when he turned back, the Winchesters were waiting, eyebrows raised. Castiel shifted awkwardly and began, "Um... look. We didn't mean to, um..." He cut off, turning back to the brothers, but they just nodded. "Um...hurt your feelings."

Cupid whipped around and wrapped his arms around Castiel in a painfully tight embrace, that made his chest ache horribly due to his stab wound. He flinched openly and screwed his eyes up in pain and the Winchesters looked worried.

"Love is more than a word to me, you know," Cupid said passionately. "I love love. I love it! And if that's wrong, I don't want to be right!"

Trying to ignore the pain, he pulled away, rubbing at his chest and Castiel stammered, "Yes, yes. Of course. I, uh...I have no idea what you're saying."

"I was just on my appointed rounds," Cupid insisted. "Whatever my targets do after that that's nothing to do with me. I- I was following my orders. Please brother. Read my mind. Read my mind, you'll see."

Cas grimaced but stepped forwards, diving inwards past the fluffy unicorns and never ending rainbows to find the orders. They were written into his Grace quite deeply, but when he found them, they were simply orders to take his rounds and then return to Heaven. The cupid hadn't been killing anybody. When he stepped back, he sighed. "He's telling the truth."

Cupid grinned in relief. "Jiminy Christmas! Thank you!"

"Wait, wait, you said - you said you were just following orders?" Dean said, frowning.

Cupid nodded. "Mm-hmm."

"Whose orders?"

"Dean," Cas said sharply.

But Cupid was laughing. "Whose? Heaven, silly! Heaven!"

Dean shook his head. "Why does heaven care if Harry meets Sally?"

Cupid shrugged. "Oh, mostly they don't. You know, certain bloodlines, certain destinies." His face lit up. "Oh, like yours!"

"What?" Sam demanded. Cas flinched back slighting, turning away and wincing.

Cupid nodded. "Yeah, the union of John and Mary Winchester. Very big deal upstairs, top priority arrangement!"

Dean stepped forwards angrily, seething. "Are you saying that you fixed-up our parents?"

"Well, not me, but... Yeah," Cupid grinned. "Well, it wasn't easy, either. Ooh, they couldn't stand each other at first. But when we were done with them. Perfect couple!" He seemed proud of this.

"Perfect?" Dean said through gritted teeth.

Cupid sighed wistfully. "Yeah."

"They're dead!" Dean yelled furiously.

Cupid looked surprised. "I'm sorry, but... the orders were very clear." He pointed at the brothers. "You and Sam needed to be born. Your parents were just, uh...meant to be." He laughed and began to sing, "_A match made in heaven- heaven!"_

Furious, Dean leapt forwards and punched Cupid straight in the nose, reeling back when all he did was really hurt himself. He looked around to punch the cupid again, but he was gone. "Son of a bitch! Where is he? Where'd he go?!"

Cas sighed, leaning against the side with a hand on his aching chest. "I believe you upset him."

"Upset him?!" Dean shouted, his eyes sparking with rage he was now turning on the Archangel, and Cas flinched.

Sam stepped in. "Dean! Enough!" he ordered.

Dean scowled. "What?"

"You just punched a cupid!" Sam pointed out incredulously.

"I punched a dick!" Dean snarled.

Sam rubbed his chin and glared at his brother. "Um...Are we gonna talk about what's been up with you lately or not?"

Dean growled and pushed past, storming out of the room. "Or not!"

Sam turned away, running a hand through his hair as he watched his brother turn out of the diner, clamber into the Impala and drive off in a vicious manner. Castiel was still leaning on the side of a bench with his hand rubbing his sore chest. His Grace was throbbing slightly.

"Well that went well," Sam huffed. Then, seeing the angel grimacing, he asked worriedly, "You okay?"

"I'm fine. It just hurts slightly. The cupid had a very strong embrace," Cas replied, shifting.

"You okay with flying back to the motel room?" Sam questioned.

"My flight isn't impaired," Cas answered, looking slightly offended.

They landed in the motel room with a soft thump. Dean wasn't back from wherever he had stormed off to yet, so Sam and Cas sat down on the frankly horribly coloured sofa and Sam turned on his laptop, beginning to search up on things that could make couples go crazy. Castiel sat by him silently. Then Sam began rubbing his temples of his head and shaking it slightly, squinting.

"Sam?" Cas questioned.

"Nah, it's nothing, Cas, don't worry," Sam told him. "Just a headache."

"Do you get 'headaches' often?" Cas asked, frowning.

Sam paused and then sighed. "Well, when I had all the psychic demon blood stuff going on, yeah. But that was mostly from visions and crap."

Cas looked alarmed.

"Hey, it's nothing," Sam assured the angel. "Humans get headaches all the time. I probably haven't drank enough water or something." His phone suddenly beeped and he pulled it out, frowning at the screen. "Huh. Do you mind if I head over to the med centre? They've got another body for me to look at. Say it's a weird one."

"I can come with you," Cas said at once, standing.

"It's okay, it's just taking notes and stuff," Sam said, waving him off and packing away his laptop.

"If you have a headache I can fly you there," Cas informed him, following Sam to the door.

"It's okay, you need to rest your wound. The fresh air will probably do my headache some good anyway. It's not a long walk," Sam told him, smiling. "Stay here and rest up. Dean'll be back soon anyway."

"Alright," Cas grudgingly agreed.

The younger Winchester set off for the medical centre, leaving Cas alone in the motel room. The Archangel sat down and looked down at his hands. He considered turning the TV on, but he figured the noise would just be annoying. Dean arrived back around half an hour later, completely ignoring the angel and instead just knocking back whiskey and turning the TV up to full volume. Cas just shot him an irritated look.

Suddenly, he felt a twinge in the back of his mind. He frowned and stood up. The twinge grew into a sharp throb. It was unmistakable. He winced and sought support from the table, but almost ended up collapsing on the floor.

The older Winchester who had been so stubbornly ignoring him rushed forwards and caught him before he could hit the ground, shaking him anxiously. "Cas? Hey, Cas! What's going on, man?! You hurt?"

Cas just shook his head.

"Somebody's summoning me."

* * *

**AN: So. There you go. If anybody wasn't getting it... Sam's headaches are due to his thirst for demon blood. Yeah. And I know in the episode Cas was affected by Famine and ate all of those cheeseburgers, but here, Cas is an Archangel. He could EASILY resist temptation.**

**To make up for it, though, I have an encounter with Famine! So... there you go!**

**Please review! Reviews make chapters come faster... I'm struggling to get the transcripts of the episodes at the moment due to Superwiki being down. Anybody got any suggestions? I live in Britain btw so I need links that work here.**

**Thanks so much for being so supportive! If you have any suggestions... go ahead.**

**I probably won't update until I get at least 40 reviews... big ask I know, but I have exams coming up so I'm revising for them.**

**THANKS! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	6. Celestial Abstinence

**Title: The Angel of Solitude and Tears**

**Written By: Alexia Blackbriar**

**Summary:**

**Season 5 AU After Carthage. Because Cas was just too awesome to Fall and I felt like the writers were throwing away so much potential. A lot of things haven't been explained.**

**Dean swallowed. "So what you're saying is, either way, you're gonna end up being dragged to kingdom come?" ****"Unfortunately... most probably."**

**AN: Hey guys! Sorry for the late update - When I found out I had forty reviews in less than three days of posting... I kinda freaked. I'm really grateful! Here's the next chapter!**

* * *

"Summoning you? Like, the blood and myrrh and sparky lightning stuff summoning you?" Dean questioned, worried, helping the Archangel over to one of the motel beds where he curled up into the foetal position and shuddered. "Do you know who it is? Do you have to go?"

Castiel shook his head from where he was trying to lessen the throbbing by hiding it under a pillow. "I don't know who it is and yes, I can resist it, but it's extremely painful."

"Are you gonna go?" Dean asked, wide eyed.

"No," Cas sniffed, curling up closer to the hunter's side. "For all I know, it could be Michael or Lucifer. I will not respond to summons that I do not trust."

Dean felt a twinge of guilt. "You came at our summons."

"Because I knew it was you. I figured it must have been something very urgent that you were not prepared to wait for." Cas winced as the summoning continued, doubling in strength. "I was right, of course."

"Man, I'm sorry," Dean said, looking down. "I know we were pretty harsh on you - okay, _I _was pretty harsh on you. I promise we won't summon you anymore."

Then, all of a sudden, the summoning stopped. Cas lifted his head in confusion, and Dean must have realised something was going on, because he shot the Archangel a questioning look. Slowly, Castiel sat up on the bed next to Dean. The hunter's hands hovered over him hesitantly until he was upright and steadily leaning back on the bed's headboard.

"The summoning's stopped," he said.

"What, just - stopped? Finished? Can that even happen if it's not answered?"

"I don't know," Cas said slowly.

_Hello, Cassiel. I'm sorry for the summoning._

Cas turned to Dean, shocked. "It's Shekinah."

"What, the new leader of the naked fat angels?"

"Dean," Cas scolded, and Dean grinned.

_We need to talk urgently. I am prepared to shield your Grace from Michael if need be; I know you have no wish to speak with him, and I have heard about his plans to drag you back to Heaven. I am against them, of course. I swear on my Grace I will not reveal you to Michael, or the Morning Star. I merely wish to speak with you about the cupid you just encountered and the killings happening in the town._

Cas turned to Dean. "She wants to talk to me about the killings. She has sworn not to reveal me to Michael and Lucifer."

"Do you trust her?" Dean asked seriously.

"I suppose," Cas answered.

Dean's eyebrows shot up. "'I suppose'?"

"Gabriel trusted her."

"Yeah, past tense. He skipped out ages ago, Cas. She might have gone psycho while you've been away."

"I trust her, Dean, because Gabriel trusted her," Cas told Dean firmly. "And she might have important information for us."

Dean sighed, throwing his arms up into the air. "Alright then, go! Have a convo with the love mojo angel, I dunno."

Cas shifted. "You're not coming with me?" His voice was so innocent and hurt.

Dean glared at him. "No, I'm not. Somebody's gotta stay here as a contact for Sam. Go have fun with your play mate."

"Dean -" Cas tried.

"Go!" Dean said, pointing towards the door and taking another long swig of whiskey.

Cas vanished, wings between his legs. He didn't understand why Dean was being so hostile towards him. All he wanted to do was help out on the case. If Shekinah had information for them, it could be a great asset. He pulled up the mental link with her.

_Cassiel. Are you coming?_

_Yes, I will meet with you. But I want to decide our meeting place._

_Of course._

Cas looked around America, before spotting a suitable meeting place, where he would have the advantage. _The Grand Canyon._

He flew into the sweltering heat, looking down at the vast great canyon below him with its orange red rock and sand. The sun was beating down steadily on the ground, causing heat waves to rise. His vessel didn't feel the heat, as his Grace kept him pleasantly cool in the new environment. He shook out his wings carefully, leaving them relaxed against his back. After a moment, another angel arrived.

Her vessel was quite short, a young woman with blonde hair and brown eyes. She was quite pretty, her smile quite bright. Her wings were light violet with streaks of white and a darker purple on the flight feathers. The tips of her wings reached her knees and they were two metres in span.

Shekinah smiled at the young Archangel. Castiel's vessel was handsome, with bright blue eyes and ruffled black hair. His wings were beautiful, pure midnight black with light speckles of gold and silver near the tips, which dragged on the floor - his wings towered over his head and they were clearly at least four metres in span.

"Cassiel," she greeted him. "It is a pleasure to see you again."

"Shekinah," Cas replied. "Likewise. What information do you have?"

Shekinah smiled. "Straight down to business as usual. My cupid was on his appointed rounds and you interrupted him. He told me about the killings. Would you care to give me the details?"

Castiel quickly explained each one of the couples' deaths, describing what had happened each time and what state it had left them in. Shekinah listened carefully through the explanation, before nodding and raising one hand, her violet wings unfolding loosely behind her.

"I've heard enough," she said. "It's all beginning to add up. Love, hunger -"

"Famine," Castiel replied, coming to a realisation. "Thank you, Shekinah. I'll be in touch."

"No, wait, Cassiel," she called.

He stopped and turned back. "Yes?"

The angel of unity smiled gently at him but she seemed very serious. "I just wanted to tell you... Michael has ordered several search parties to look for you. You should be careful these days. Many of us in Heaven are against Michael's tactics to get you home, but many other angels agree that force needs to be applied. They will not hesitate to hurt you in order to get you to submit. I just... wanted to warn you." She looked down sheepishly.

"How many groups?"

"Four."

"Who are leading the search parties?" Castiel asked curiously.

"Nathanael, Puriel, Zazriel and Barakael."

"And how many in each party?"

"At least a dozen in each."

Cas reeled back slightly. To have such powerful seraphs leading such large parties would prove a problem for him. He knew he would not be able to fight twelve angels off at a time, especially if they were all soldiers.

Shekinah pulled out a handful of paper notes and quickly handed them to him, looking around nervously as if somebody was spying on them. "These are other sigils you might not have heard about. Michael wanted to hide them from you, because he's afraid that if you find out about them you may be lost to him."

"Lost to him?"

"They're powerful warding sigils to hide you from the Archangel himself. I want you to use them and you should know that despite what may happen, my cupids and I will support and protect you."

Cas took the sheets of paper and looked up at Shekinah graciously. "You came here at great personal risk today, Shekinah. Thank you. I appreciate your warning and your gift. I only wish I could give you something in return."

Shekinah smiled. "You already have, small one. You gave us faith and belief in the Father. You are the pure connection to God."

"I rebelled against Father's orders," Cas told her guiltily, looking away. "I disobeyed -"

"Oh, Cassiel, little one," Shekinah whispered, resting a hand on his cheek and beaming at him. "You never disobeyed. You did what you thought was right. You used the gift of free will God gave you and you protect his creations. He would be so proud of you, small one."

"I do not think so," Cas murmured back to her. "If He was proud of me then why wouldn't he reveal himself to me? I have been searching for him."

Shekinah gave a small laugh. "You have not found him, little one, because you are searching in the wrong places." Then, without warning, she flew off.

Castiel sighed and flew back to the motel room, where he found the Winchesters opening a briefcase. A bright white light of a soul burst out of it, causing both boys to shield their eyes in pain until it faded.

"Whoa!" Sam gasped, rubbing his eyes.

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked, massaging his temples.

Castiel revealed himself, answering, "It's a human soul. It's starting to make sense."

Sam looked bewildered. "Now, what about that makes sense?"

"Everything that's happening - the couple eating each other, the couple shooting themselves, the man eating until his stomach exploded. It's a clue, actually," Cas replied, striding forwards.

"For what?" both the Winchesters asked at once, before glaring at each other.

"This town is not suffering from some love-gone-wrong effect," Cas told them, shaking his head. "It's suffering from hunger. Starvation, to be exact- Specifically...famine."

Sam looked stunned, raising a hand. "Famine? As- as in the horseman?"

Dean scowled, giving a dark chuckle. "Great. Th- th-that's freaking great."

Confused, Sam asked, "I thought famine meant starvation, like as in, you know, food?"

Cas nodded enthusiastically. "Yes. Absolutely. But not just food. I mean, everyone seems to be starving, craving, for something." Cas shrugged, listing, "Sex, attention, alcohol, adrenalin, violence, drugs, love..."

Dean's eyebrows shot up. "Well, that explains the puppy-lovers that Cupid shot up," he mumbled.

Cas pointed at him, nodding. "Right. The cherub made them crave love, and then Famine came, and made them rabid for it."

Dean appeared to be worried now, pointing at the three of them. "Okay, but what about us?"

"Yeah, I mean, I don't think we've been starving for anything," Sam said in a flat tone, sounding unsure.

Cas looked at him carefully. "Unless you two have been feeling -"

"Feeling what?"

"Well it really depends on what you're craving."

Dean and Sam glanced at each other.

Dean turned back. "No, I think we're good. Why, think we'll be affected?"

"You're both human, you're bound to be soon," Cas nodded.

"What about you?"

"I'm an angel, I can resist temptation. You two, however..." Cas looked down. "I don't know."

"So, Famine just rolls into town and everybody goes crazy?" Dean asked disbelievingly.

Cas turned, gazing out the window, reciting from the ancient scripture: "'And then will come Famine riding on a black steed. He will ride into the land of plenty... and great will be the Horseman's hunger, for he is hunger. His hunger will seep out and poison the air.'" He turned back to the brothers, wringing his hands. "Famine is hungry. He must devour the souls of his victims."

Dean picked up the briefcase. "So, that's what was in the briefcase -The twinkie dude's soul?"

Castiel nodded. "Lucifer has sent his demons to care for Famine, to feed him, make certain he'll be ready."

Now Sam was nauseous. "Ready for what?"

Cas shook his head. "To March across the land."

"Great - just great," Dean scowled.

Sam had walked away and he was standing by the sink, wiping his face with a cold washcloth. He was trembling slightly, eyes screwed closed, but neither angel nor brother had noticed yet. Sam knew deep down - god, he was hungry. Not just hungry... thirsty.

"Famine?" Dean repeated.

Cas rolled his eyes, flicking through a magazine. "Yes."

Sam called out from the bathroom, his voice lower and slightly raw. "So, what, this whole town is just gonna eat, drink, fight and screw itself to death?"

"We should stop it," Cas agreed easily, putting down the magazine and sitting down on one of the beds, testing its springs.

"Yeah, that's a great idea," Dean commented sarcastically. "How?"

Cas frowned, looking up at him. "Well, how did you stop the last horseman you met?"

Dean set down opposite him, putting his hands over his face as he recalled the event. "War got his mojo from this ring. And after we cut it off, he just tucked tail and ran. And everybody that was affected, it was like they woke up out of a dream. You think Famine's got a class ring, too?"

Cas grimaced. "I know he does."

"Well, okay. Let's track him down and get chopping."

Castiel nodded, rising to his feet. "Yeah."

"Sam, let's roll," Dean called.

"Dean...I, um...I can't. I can't go," Sam admitted, holding the washcloth gingerly in his hands as he shifted so he was leaning heavily against the door frame. He seemed to be having trouble breathing, and he looked hot.

Dean crossed his arms. "What do you mean?"

"I think it got to me, Dean," Sam whispered, ashamed. "I think I'm hungry for it..."

"Hungry for what?" Dean demanded.

Sam hung his head. "You know."

Cas looked horrified. "Demon blood?"

Dean's eyes widened. "You got to be kidding me." He turned to the Archangel desperately. "You got to get him out of here. You got to beam him to, like, Alaska. Anywhere but here."

"It won't work," Cas confessed. "He's already infected. The hunger is just going to travel with him."

"Use healing mojo or something. You gotta do something!" Dean insisted.

"Dean, he can't," Sam said, turning his head back to the bathroom, his fists clenching. "If Cas uses his Archangel powers while Famine's here... Lucifer's bound to find out. We can't risk it. And he's still recovering from being stabbed by Uriel; he needs all the Grace he can get. We can't just go flaunting it around and besides, we can't force him to do anything for us."

Castiel shot him a grateful look, before turning back to Dean. "Sam is right. Famine will undoubtedly inform Lucifer the second he realises who I am, and I don't have enough Grace. I'm sorry, Dean."

"Well, then, what do we do?" Dean questioned wildly.

"You go cut that bastard's finger off," Sam told him with a proud smile.

Dean turned to Cas. "You heard him."

"But, Dean..." Sam was gazing down at the floor, his lips in a tight line. "Uh, before you go, you better...you better lock me down - but good."

Dean sighed and pulled out handcuffs. He led his younger brother into the bathroom and Sam sat down onto the floor to allow Dean to snap the handcuffs onto him and then onto the sink pipe. He wasn't going anywhere, he realised, as he tugged on the chain a few times to test its strength. Cas was watching by the door, grimacing grimly. He gave the younger Winchester a small nod of encouragement before vanishing behind the frame.

Dean patted him on the arm. "All right, well, just hang in there." His brother really wasn't looking that good anymore. He had a slight fever and looked weary. "We'll be back as soon as we can. Cas'll watch out for you."

"Pray if you need me, Sam," Castiel informed him. "I will try and answer as quickly as possible. Be sure to address it to my true name though beforehand... it will go onto a 'private line' as you would say." His finger quotes made Sam smile. "And... good luck."

Sam nodded, resting his head back against the wall. "Be careful. And... hurry." He swallowed.

Dean stepped out of the bathroom after checking the windows were all locked and the locks were smashed, closing the door with his eyes shut. He locked it from the outside and then motioned to the Archangel. With barely any strain at all, the angel pushed a heavy dresser in front of the door. Dean grabbed his duffel with the angel swords and his demon killing knife in it, swinging it over his shoulder and casting one sad look back towards the bathroom, before beckoning for the angel to follow him. They locked the motel room carefully before climbing into the Impala.

"Let's head back to the medical centre. Best to start somewhere," Dean sighed, turning the key in the ignition and flooring it.

They drove in silence to the medical centre and quickly made their way to the morgue. Dean rapped on the window there and smiled fakely when a young man came out. They obviously recognised each other from earlier.

"Hey, Marty," Dean greeted in a fake happy voice. "Is Dr Corman around?"

Marty grimaced. "You haven't heard?"

"Heard what?"

Marty shook his head in remorse. "Guy's been dry for the last 20 years, but this morning, he left work, went home, and drank himself to death."

Castiel turned to Dean urgently. "It's Famine."

Marty frowned at him. "Pardon?"

Dean shot Marty a look. "Would you give us a minute, please?"

"Sure."

"Thanks." As Marty left the room, Dean ran a hand through his hair again, scowling. "Crap! I really kind of liked this guy."

"They haven't harvested his soul yet," Cas told him. "They'll come to collect it soon."

"Well, if we want to play "follow the soul" to get to Famine, our best shot starts with the doc, here." Dean motioned to the morgue. "Let's go stake-out in the Impala."

"I'll meet you there," Castiel told him. "I want to search the town first. The cupid from earlier might be here and I want to warn him about Famine."

"'Kay. Be quick."

Castiel nodded before taking flight, quickly searching the town. It seemed that the cupid had already left back to Heaven, so that was a good thing. However, he could see more people drinking and eating wildly, and couples practically groping each other in public. Famine was definitely getting stronger by the hour. They would have to be quick in defeating him. Cas could only imagine how Sam was feeling right then, tied up and thirsty, unable to control himself. He landed in the passenger seat of the Impala and Dean turned to him after a second, eyebrows raised.

"So? Cupid?"

"He's gone," Cas told him. "But the town's hunger is worse. Famine is getting stronger.

Dean grimaced. "Great. That's just _great_." He drummed his fingers on the dashboard. "So, never asked, how was you get together with the love guru?"

Castiel ignored the mocking and answered, "She tipped me off about Famine and also gave me a warning."

Dean sat up straighter, looking angry. "If she threatened you -"

"No, Dean, that's not what I meant. Shekinah told me that Michael has sent search parties out to look for me. There are four large groups with a dozen angels in each, all soldiers, and powerful seraphs leading them. I'm... afraid that I will have to leave and go into hiding."

"Well hey, Gabriel seemed pretty good at avoiding those dicks. Maybe he could give you pointers."

"Dean... if they want to find me... eventually even I won't be able to fight them off."

Dean swallowed. "So what you're saying is, either way, you're gonna end up being dragged to kingdom come?"

"Unfortunately... most probably."

Dean was silent after that. He didn't say anything. They sat in silence for ten minutes or so, just watching people walk by the car eating burgers or kissing passionately or chugging down bottles of beer. It wasn't a pretty sight.

Castiel frowned for a moment, before questioning curiously, "What I don't understand is...where is your hunger, Dean?"

"Huh?" Dean seemed generally confused.

"Well, slowly but surely, everyone in this town is falling prey to Famine. Sam has been affected. But so far, you seem unaffected."

Dean shrugged casually, looking out of the window. "Hey, when I want to drink, I drink. When I want sex, I go get it. Same goes for a sandwich or a fight."

Cas' eyebrows furrowed. "So... you're saying you're just well-adjusted?"

Dean scoffed. "God, no. I'm just well-fed."

Castiel turned away to gaze out the window. "I have been thinking, Dean - what you are craving -"

"I thought we agreed I wasn't craving anything," Dean protested.

"Dean, every human in this town has been affected. You surely must be affected too. What I think you are craving is abstinence."

Dean stared at him. "Abstinence?"

"The act of restraining oneself from craving and indulgence," Cas explained. "It would make sense. You are not craving anything because you are craving nothing."

"That doesn't make any sense at all," Dean scoffed. Then he sat up, more alert. "Look there."

A large hostile looking group of people were heading into a Biggerson's restaurant, looking around with narrowed eyes, some of them with briefcases. Dean pointed at them and Castiel nodded. He could see their hideous true faces.

"Demons," Cas said.

"You want to go over the plan again?" Dean questioned.

Cas turned to him, frowning. "What plan?"

"Oh, yeah... you haven't been here... must have been talking aloud to myself," Dean muttered.

Castiel turned back to the diner and stated firmly. "I'll take the knife, go in, cut off the ring hand off of Famine, and I'll meet you back here in the parking lot."

"Well that sounds foolproof," Dean commented, still staring at the demons entering the diner.

"What do you suggest?" Cas asked.

"I - er - yeah, I got nothing," Dean muttered. "I'm not exactly jumping for joy at this idea though."

"It's better than nothing."

Dean still looked unconvinced. "Cas, you're still recovering from junkless' attack. Are you sure -"

"Every moment we sit here, Dean, Sam suffers with thirst for demon blood," Castiel told him, his blue eyes intense.

Dean swallowed and closed his eyes. "Dammit, Cas... okay, just be careful."

Castiel nodded and then spread his wings and took off, landing in the diner silently. He could see Famine sitting in a wheelchair in the middle of the room, chatting to some demons, and his blade dropped down into his hand. He was about to take a step forwards when a ring of fire burst into life around him, trapping him. The demons turned around, eyebrows quirked and smirking at him.

Famine was turned in his wheelchair and when he caught sight of the trapped angel, his lifeless dead eyes lit up with delight and he slowly licked his lips. Three demons in their true forms approached him with the appearance of black smoke and Castiel lashed out with his sword. He caught two of them, but the other struck his Grace, causing the angel to cry out and fall to his knees.

Famine rolled over towards him and gave a small horrificly terrifying smile. "Look what we have here."

As unconsciousness decended onto him, Cas slowly closed his eyes and exhaled. As Dean would say, he was totally screwed.

* * *

**AN: I very much like Cas whump... aww, our lil archangel is very unlucky, isn't he? Very much appreciate ideas and suggestions and I love reviews!**

**I've got very important exams next week so I won't be updating for a while...**

**Tell you what - I'll update as soon as I have sixty reviews. That should give mesome time.**

**Thank you so much for the support! Love you guys! Please review!**

**P.S. If anybody wants to do any fanart of Shekinah and Castiel with their wings, go ahead and I'll post the links on the next chapter! Thank you!**


	7. Famine's Consequences

**Title: The Angel of Solitude and Tears**

**Written By: Alexia Blackbriar**

**Summary:**

**Season 5 AU After Carthage. Because Cas was just too awesome to Fall and I felt like the writers were throwing away so much potential. A lot of things haven't been explained.**

**"'Kay, Sam's in the panic room. I guess we're in for the long haul," Dean sighed, grabbing a beer. "When'll we know if he starts detoxing?"**

**"When he starts screaming," Cas replied.**

**Dean stared at him.**

**AN: More Hurt!Cas... I think I have an unhealthy obsession... Here is the next chapter. I didn't get many reviews for the last chapter so... I'm kind of not very motivated at the moment.**

* * *

When the Archangel returned to consciousness with blurred eyes and an aching Grace, he found Dean shaking his shoulder gently and staring down at him worriedly. Castiel turned his head blearily and flinched slightly when he saw Sam standing only a few metres away, completely _covered _in demon blood. He was even shaking slightly. Famine was dead, his eyes blank and lifeless, and the demons around him had fallen to the ground, destroyed by Sam's power. Dean had obviously faced Famine and Sam had saved them. The holy fire gone, the angel stood up.

"Aw, damn it, Cas, can't catch a break, can you?" Dean murmured, keeping him supported slightly by holding his left elbow. "You okay, man?"

"I'm fine. He just -" He couldn't keep the faint tremor out of his voice.

"Can you get up?" Dean questioned.

"I -" Cas tried, but his legs and arms were not responding properly. "Did he -"

"I took care of it," Sam said, and another dribble of demon blood dripped to the floor.

"Sam..." Castiel whispered, horrifed.

"I'm sorry, Cas... two turned up at the motel and I was so hungry..." Sam indeed looked incredibly guiltly.

"Where are they now?" Dean questioned quickly.

"Dead. I, er, killed them after..." Another small droplet of demon blood fell to the floor.

Within a moment, Cas had quickly flown to the other side of Sam and knocked him out. But the flight was taxing on his already exhausted Grace and he instantly collapsed to the ground, or at least was going to, if Dean hadn't rushed to his side and caught him beneath his arm pits and pulled the Archangel to his chest for support while trying to keep Sam anchored to his side with one arm. He grunted and then roughly manhandled both the angel and his brother to the ground.

"Christ, dude, you're heavy," he panted. "How can someone's vessel be so skinny and still weight a ton?"

Castiel was now lying on the floor again, unable to get up. "It's the weight of my Grace."

"What the hell happened? We went over the plan and everything!"

"I'm sorry, Dean, Famine attacked my true form. Within the holy fire I couldn't do anything..."

Dean tried to lift him up again and then threw his arms into the air in frustration. "Damn, you are heavy. Can't carry you, Cas."

Castiel swallowed guiltily. "I'm sorry, Dean."

"Hey, I'm not blaming you, man. Just saying you _seriously _need to lose a few pounds." He sighed then, glancing at his little brother and checking his pulse, grimacing. "We need to get to Bobby's. That way you can recharge your batteries and Sam can detox." Dean scowled again. "Guessin' you can't fly us there this time."

Castiel blushed and curled up on his side. "I'm sorry, Dean..."

"Whoa, dude, stop apologising. It's getting creepy. S'okay, I just have no idea how I'm meant to haul your asses to the car." Dean hefted the unconscious Sam up by under his armpits and rearranged him into a position where he was half carrying, half dragging him. "Gotta get Sam to the Impala. Think you can wait?"

"Of course."

As Dean hauled his little brother out of the diner, Castiel laid on his side and sighed before stretching out his wings onto the floor. The holy fire had cramped him, as the circle had been cramped. He needed to flex out slightly. Also, the Archangel couldn't help but notice the way that Dean was looking at him so differently; as if he now knew somebody about the angel he hadn't known before, and it had shocked him. Castiel sincerely hoped it wasn't what he thought it was. He looked up when he heard Dean enter the diner again and when the hunter smirked, he folded his wings up against his back again, as the shadows were clear in the rising sun.

"You having a little grooming sesh without me, Cas?" he teased.

"Holy fire is containing and cramps our wings. I was merely stretching."

"_Sure_ you were," Dean smirked. "Come on, let's get you to the car. Seeing as Sam's unconscious ass is in the back, I guess you get to ride shotgun. You gonna be able to fit in there with your special wings and crap?"

"Yes, Dean," Castiel said impatiently. "Can you help me up now please?"

"Yeesh, touchy much, aren't you?"

Dean struggled to actually lift him up, but after that it was reasonably easy to get to the open passenger door of the Impala, considering Castiel was conscious and able to move his feet and steady his vessel's weight.

He helped Cas into the shotgun seat and the Archangel shifted to the side, but immediately stiffened. Two people, a man and a woman, were striding out of the medical centre intently. They were angels.

"Dean," Cas whispered urgently. "Two angels, behind you. They are exiting the medical centre."

Dean quickly checked the doors, pulling his angel blade out of his jacket.

Dean moved around to the driver's and soon they were rolling down a highway back towards Souix Falls with Castiel curled up with his feet on the seat and his head buried in his arms. Much to the Archangel's surprise, Dean didn't shout or yell at him for putting his feet up, and he didn't turn his Metallica and AC/DC tapes up to an ear-blasting volume, and instead he played it quietly in the background. Every so often, Dean would turn back and check on Sam, before turning his eyes back to the road. After a while, the Archangel realised that Dean was watching him out of the corner of his eye.

"Is something bothering you, Dean?" he questioned.

"No, why?" Dean asked, quickly turning back to the road, shifting his hands on the wheel.

"Because you have been staring at me for the last six and a half minutes and it is starting to unnerve me," Castiel admitted.

Dean smirked. "The angel finally knows how creepy it feels. Next time think about this moment when you're the one staring at me. It happens often."

"It does not!" the Archangel protested.

"Oh, you'd be surprised," Dean smirked.

Cas quietened then asked, "What is it, Dean? Was it something Famine said?"

* * *

_"Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions. You're not hungry, Dean, because inside, you're already...dead. Not even your little angel can heal you, can he, Dean?"_

_Dean shifted. "I have no idea what you're talking about."_

_"Little Castiel. The angel who pulled you out of Hell."_

_"How do you -"_

_"Oh yes, we know about that, Dean. He was very vocal in his screams when he was burning with Hell fire."_

_Dean blanched. "What?"_

_"Did he not mention?" Famine was cackling lowly._

_"What are you talking about? Tell me, you son of a bitch!" Dean snarled._

_"Castiel literally went through Hell and back to save you. Do you remember what Alastair did to you, Dean? Does it haunt you in your dreams? For your little angel, it was a thousand times worse. Grace is much more potent and pure than a human soul you see. To be in Hell would have been tearing him apart piece by piece, for forty years."_

_"You're lying," Dean said angrily._

_"Why would I? I am, after all, Famine. Hunger. Thirst. Want. Little Castiel craved the touch of his brothers and of his Father while he was in Hell. He hungered for peace and serenity, and was so desperate for safety, the poor thing." Famine gave a horrible lopsided smile. "His Grace though... I thought that after Hell it would be a burnt, shrivelled little thing. An angel's, yet damaged. Not as bright."_

_"Cas got hurt down in Hell?" Dean asked, shocked._

_"Well of course. His wings used to be so pure and white. Marvelled. Yet when he returned from the pit..." Famine tutted. "They were burnt black for eternity. I thought his pure little Grace would have suffered terribly in Hell, died out. But when he came in here, I was blinded by how dazzling and intense it was. And I thought... how could such a small tiny insignificant angel's Grace, after forty years of fire and torture and death be so radiant and pure? It couldn't, of course... unless he wasn't a small tiny insignificant angel."_

_"Shut up," Dean growled. "Just shut up!"_

_"Why would I, Dean? I do, after all, have the advantage. And I very much think Lucifer would be interested in our little Castiel, don't you think?" He was rolling his wheelchair slowly, with frail feeble arms, until he was beside the holy fire and hovering a hand a metre over the unconscious Archangel's face. "All that power, hidden beneath false guises... oh yes, I think Lucifer would be extremely curious."_

_"LET HIM GO!"_

_"Sam."_

_"Sammy, NO!"_

* * *

"Nothing, Cas," Dean said quietly, staring at the road and clenching his hands around the wheel. "Nothing. Just spurted some crap about hunger from the soul. Tryin' to antagonise me. Then Sam came and blew him up."

"Dean."

"What, Cas?"

"You can't lie to an Archangel."

Dean inhaled sharply. He kept gazing at the tarmac in front of him, fully aware the angel beside him was watching him intently. "Look, I just... you don't wanna know, Cas, believe me. If it's so important to you, I'll tell you later once Sam's sweated out and puked all the demon blood out of his body. I can't do this right now."

There was a moment and then the Archangel said in a low tone, "Dean, no matter what you consider me... a weapon, a friend, a brother, an asset... I will always listen to what you have to say."

Dean swallowed. "Thanks, Cas. And whatever happens up here, with the Devil and the Godsquad after you and everything, Sam and I'll be here for you. You're a brother to us, Cas. Family don't end in blood."

"I consider you the same, Dean."

"Well, all your brothers are dicks, so you're in luck that Sammy and I are so awesome."

When they arrived at Bobby's, the hunter was sitting in his wheelchair on the porch, his cap pulled over his face, and he stirred almost immediately as the Impala pulled up the drive. He also hurrumphed as he saw Dean struggling to carry his unconscious little brother and Castiel leaning against the Impala for support as he climbed out on unsteady legs. Bobby rolled his eyes. Dean glared at him as he passed. That was when Bobby noticed the faint traces of crimson at the corners of the younger Winchester's mouth. His mouth dropped open.

"Dun' tell me Sam..."

"Kinda had no choice," Dean grunted as he reached the doorway. "Turns out we were dealin' with a freakin' Cupid and then Famine."

Bobby blinked. "Famine. Like the Horseman."

"The one and only." Dean dragged his brother a few steps further. "Hey, do you mind helpin' Cas out? Famine did something wacky to his Grace and I found him knocked out in a circle of holy fire. Swear the guy's the unluckiest in the world. He's okay, just a bit weak."

Bobby watched as Dean struggled through the doorway with Sam in tow, and reckoned they were heading down to the panic room. The older hunter rolled down a ramp carefully then headed towards the Archangel, who now had his head tilted forwards against his chest, eyes closed. His blue eyes cracked open as Bobby approached. He tried to stand up and straighten, but only ended up sliding half way down the door, trying to use his arms to propel him upwards.

"Are ya gonna be able to get to the house on your own or do ya need me to carry you?" Bobby questioned sarcastically.

"No carrying. Support would be appreciated."

Bobby rolled his eyes and turned his chair. "Seriously need to get ya a book on sarcasm for Christmas."

"I understand the mechanics of sarcasm," Castiel said, affronted, while taking a firm hold on the back of the wheelchair as the two began trekking back towards the house. "Dean and Sam both use it very often."

"I'm not surprised, with you around," Bobby grumbled.

Castiel paused then questioned, "Was that sarcasm?"

"There's no hope for you," Bobby told him, shaking his head.

They managed to get to the front of the porch with Cas leaning heavily on Bobby's wheelchair and breathing heavily through gritted teeth. Dean appeared soon after that and supported the Archangel inside and onto one of Bobby's couches. He vanished into the kitchen for a moment and then returned with a glass of water. He handed it to the angel and gave him a stern glare that told him to drink it all, _or else. _Cas drank it.

"'Kay, Sam's in the panic room. I guess we're in for the long haul," Dean sighed, grabbing a beer. "When'll we know if he starts detoxing?"

"When he starts screaming," Cas replied.

Dean stared at him.

"Oh, I... wasn't supposed to answer that..." Castiel realised too late. "Was I supposed to lie?"

"Yeah," Dean answered. "Generally, yeah."

"Sam hasn't ingested enough demon blood for the detox to be truly dangerous for him," the Archangel explained. "The most the detox should take is two days."

"That doesn't make me feel much better," Dean muttered, taking a swig from his bottle. "Can't you do anything?"

"Like what?" the Archangel frowned.

"Like... I dunno, clear out his system or something? Purify him?"

"Dean, I can't - there aren't enough sigils," Cas finally said, looking apologetic.

"Nothing? No healing mojo?"

"Well, I suppose I could try..." Cas said slowly.

Dean nodded and then muttered under his breath while taking another long gulp of beer. "Stupid kid. He shoulda just left it to us and stayed safe."

"The demons broke into the motel room, Dea," Castiel told him. "What would have you expected Sam to do? The demons could have killed him.

"I expected him to stay put where he was and not try to do his damn hero act!"

Cas gazed at him seriously. "Dean, Sam saved us. Famine would have killed us both if he hadn't arrived in time."

"Would have killed _me_, you mean," Dean said under his breath, leaning on the counter.

Castiel froze. "What do you mean?" he demanded. "He would have killed me to."

Dean shook his head. "Don't think so, Cas."

"Dean, tell me what you mean," Castiel ordered, and there was firm authority in his voice not to be questioned.

Dean sighed and glanced between the angel and the older hunter. It was clear they were not going to give up until he gave them an explanation. He set his beer down and rubbed his eyes. "Look, Cas... Famine could sense who you were. And he told me some stuff that I'm really wondering why you didn't tell me earlier."

Castiel looked slightly alarmed. "What 'stuff'? What did he tell you?"

"He told me a lot of things, Cas. One of them being that you were tortured in Hell for forty years trying to find me. That for an angel to be in Hell is like being torn apart slowly piece by piece." Dean looked shaken. "Is that true?"

Cas sat back against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. "Dean -"

"It is. Great. And your wings - Famine said that before, they were white but then they were burnt black. Is that true?"

"I - I wear the colour as badges of honour, Dean -"

"You... you didn't need to go through that, Cas. Not for me. Not for anyone."

"Dean, I... I told you that it was a mission given to me by my Father. I couldn't just fail," Castiel told him quietly. "And you didn't deserve to be in Hell."

"What, and you think you did?"

"Of course not!" Castiel looked offended and shocked.

"Then why did you accept the mission in the first place?" Dean questioned. "You knew the risks! What, think God was gonna be pissed if you didn't?"

Cas hesitated, then looked at the ground, somewhat ashamed. Bobby and Dean exchanged glances. Cas refused to answer, then finally he gave a small nod.

Dean's face fell. "Aw, man... Seriously? God is a douchebag. A massive one. I can't believe he..."

"He just... When I was a fledgling we spent time together," Castiel said quietly. "Not much, but time. Mostly He spent time with Michael and Raphael. After Gabriel left I didn't really have anybody. Michael, Raphael, Father - I never heard from them again. I felt as if my family had abandoned me. When Father returned with the mission, I... I was desperate to prove that I was worthy of his attention."

"Your family sucks, Cas," Dean muttered sympathetically.

"Yes, I am aware," the Archangel replied softly.

Then a few screams and muffled cries sounded out around the house. Dean closed his eyes and inhaled shakily. Cas was already on his feet. The older Winchester grimaced at Bobby before leading the Archangel down the stairs to the panic room. They glanced inside through the metal slates and closed their eyes, turning away from what they had seen. Sam was sweating buckets, the sheets already bunched up and wet, and he was screaming and sobbing, obviously delirious. On the floor beside him was vomited up demon blood.

"Let me out of here, please!" Sam was sobbing, shouting, curled up and shaking. "Help! Dean? Cas? Please, help!"

Cas noticed Dean's broken look and tried to reassure, "That's not him in there. Not really."

Dean swallowed. "I know."

"Dean, Sam just has to get it out of his system," Castiel insisted. "Then he'll be-"

"Listen, I just, uh...I just need to get some air." Dean closed his eyes and turned away, bounding up the stairs of the basement and out of sight.

Cas sighed and gazed through the metal slates again. He glanced about before quickly unlocking the panic room door and stepping inside, hurrying up to the younger Winchester brother and laying a hand on his shoulder, easily pinning him to the bed.

"Sam, I'm going to try and help you," Castiel told him carefully. "I'm going to try and purify your system, but it's going to hurt. A lot."

Sam looked up at him with fever-red eyes, still trembling, his hair a mess. "C-Cas? W-what - Pestilence, he -"

"I know," Castiel said soothingly. "I know, Sam. It's alright..."

He threaded his Grace through Sam Winchester's veins and the younger brother began screaming in earnest, writhing. The Archangel quickly withdrew, exiting the panic room and leaving the unconscious hunter behind. As Castiel reached the top of the stairs, he was nearly struck down by Dean and Bobby charging towards him. He was able to stop them easily, pushing Dean back and halting Bobby's wheelchair with a flick of his fingers.

"What was that?" Dean demanded. "Sam -"

"I managed to purify his system of the demon blood by about twenty percent," the Archangel explained. "I could not risk much more... a flare of Grace that large will have attracted the angels' attention."

Dean deflated. "Thanks, Cas. That really - thanks. He's unconscious then?"

"Yes, he should sleep through the rest of tonight, and hopefully tomorrow." Castiel straightened. "And now I believe I must take my leave. My wound has healed sufficiently and I need to resume my search for God."

"Are you sure?" Dean asked. "I mean, you could stay with us. You'd be great at hunting."

Castiel gave him a small smile. "Thank you for the offer, but I do not believe the life of hunting is for me. Pray by my true name if you need me, I will answer."

With a great beat of wings, he vanished from Bobby's living room. Dean and Bobby exchanged glances and then traipsed back to the kitchen, where Dean grabbed a bottle of whiskey and poured both of them glasses. The two hunters drained their glasses once. And then again. Sam's whimpers and cries echoed through the house. It was gonna be a long night.

* * *

**AN: Please review with ideas and suggestions. Even if it is just to say good chapter or hello... Just finished my exams so really depressed until I get some results.**

**I really need motivation if I'm going to write the next chapter... so PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love you guys so much - thank you for all your support! :)**


	8. Holy Warrior

**Title: The Angel of Solitude and Tears**

**Written By: Alexia Blackbriar**

**Summary:**

**Season 5 AU After Carthage. Because Cas was just too awesome to Fall and I felt like the writers were throwing away so much potential. A lot of things haven't been explained.**

**After a moment, a few angels began to appear, ruffling their wings nervously and ashamedly, as they believed they had somehow given away their positions. Two angels strode up to the boundary lines. One was a tall slim brunette man, with large grey speckled wings, and the other was a broad-shouldered blond man with smaller sleeker white streaked tawny wings. Boths' wings were, however, nothing compared to Castiel's. Castiel's wings towered above him, tall and proud, the pure black glistening with flecks of gold and silver.**

* * *

**AN: This chapter is mostly angels. yep, I said it. Angels. There will be changes randomly between Castiel to Cas to Cassiel, purely because each angel addressed may address him differently or Cas may be referring to his own thoughts. Any way, enjoy!**

**This is currently the last chapter I have written. Please review if you want more! LONG CHAPTER! YAY!**

**Some OC angels. First time I've written them. Tell me what you think!**

* * *

Cassiel was a strong Archangel, Nathanael knew that. And Cassiel was going to be difficult to track, and very difficult to apprehend. But Nathanael would prefer to have a few scrapes and scratches, and a few feathers missing than to have Michael furious at him. Michael was, after all, the General of Heaven. Cassiel was just a confused, young Archangel. Nathanael turned and his speckled grey wings rustled as one of his messengers, a young angel in a female vessel, approached him.

"Ah, Puriel," Nathanael greeted her warmly. "News on the runaway?"

"Yes, sir," Puriel nodded. "We believe he may be at Robert Singer's house in Souix Falls. Beforehand two of our agents believe they spotted him in a small town a few miles outside of that area. Dean and Samuel Winchester often stay at Robert Singer's residence, as it is warded and protected. It is highly likely Cassiel will be there."

"Good. Send a small squadron to apprehend him," Nathanael ordered.

Puriel grimaced. "That's the thing, sir... we cannot seem to breach the properties' boundaries. Cassiel must have placed wards and sigils."

"Hmm," Nathanael frowned. "Thank you, Puriel."

She nodded, dismissed, and quickly flew off out of sight. Nathanael turned and quickly flew into another Heaven, this one belonging to a twenty-three year old who had died of liver cancer. It was a plain baseball field with a few lone bats dropped underneath a clump of Canadian Maple trees. Generally, quite pleasant. Once there, he quickly found the angel he was looking for.

"Ah, Nathanael," Zazriel said, his white streaked tawny wings ruffling. "Greetings, brother. One of your young messengers just contacted me. You have found Cassiel?"

"Yes," Nathanael informed him. "But he has protected himself. I need your help staking him out. He will soon leave the residence and we will be able to ambush him from offensive positioning, if we are careful."

"Of course," Zazriel agreed. "How many angels will you need?"

"I have seven ready for duty myself," Nathanael told him. "Another five will be sufficient."

"I will come myself as well," Zazriel assured. "Come. Let us go. Cassiel will not know what is coming for him."

* * *

Castiel wasn't stupid. He knew he was being staked out. That was why he paused on the borders of the boundary line on Bobby's grounds and carefully searched the thick expanses of trees and vegetation. There wasn't the faintest trace or sound - yet the young Archangel knew they were there, waiting for him to step over the magical line. Castiel's blade dropped down into his palm and he half-spread his raven wings threateningly.

"Nathanael, Zazriel, I know you are there," he called out seriously. "You might as well reveal yourselves. It will make this far less complicated."

After a moment, a few angels began to appear, ruffling their wings nervously and ashamedly, as they believed they had somehow given away their positions. Two angels strode up to the boundary lines. One was a tall slim brunette man, with large grey speckled wings, and the other was a broad-shouldered blond man with smaller sleeker white streaked tawny wings. Boths' wings were, however, nothing compared to Castiel's. Castiel's wings towered above him, tall and proud, the pure black glistening with flecks of gold and silver.

"Cassiel, brother," Zazriel, the blond one, said to him. "It is good to see you again."

"I wish I could say the same, Zazriel," Castiel said. "How many angels did you bring to capture me tonight?"

"A mere dozen," Nathanael answered. "You are weak, Cassiel, due to wounds and lack of Grace. You throw yourself away to the two Winchester brothers."

"They are my friends," Castiel told them. "I would gladly give my life for them, as they would for me."

"That's what you'd like to believe," Zazriel scoffed. "They will abandon you, Cassiel, when they no longer need you. You are merely a weapon in their eyes."

"Then whether I be a weapon, an asset, a friend or a brother to the Winchesters," Castiel said calmly. "I will protect them always."

There was a wingbeat of silence. "We admire your loyalty, Cassiel," Nathanael confessed.

"Thank you. Now, if you do not mind, I have a mission," Castiel spread his wings, ready to take flight.

As a counter, all twelve angels all quickly spread their own, their blades appearing in their hands as they took up an offensive position. Castiel immediately stepped back, faltering slightly. How on Earth was he supposed to fight twelve angels on his own? Of course, he was still behind the property's barrier. None of the angels could cross it. Behind the barrier, he was safe.

"You can come with us willingly, or we shall apprehend you," Nathanael said. "What will it be?"

Castiel did not give them a chance to even comprehend his answer. He beat his wings behind him in a flash of lightning and took to the sky, streaking through the heavens like a beam of light. All the angels immediately took chase, their wings beating in a frenzy as they flew after their runaway Heir, Zazriel and Nathanael leading out front. Castiel's larger and sleeker wingspan gave him speed and stealth, and all in Heaven knew he was the fastest angel. All the angels had to do was keep him in their sights.

And within seconds, they all became streaks of celestial wavelengths, flying across space and time, chasing one small beam of light.

* * *

The chase had been taxing. Castiel's wings were aching and his Grace was throbbing slightly, the half-healed wound in his side sending stabs of pain through his vessel. He knew he was in no condition for a fight with one angel, let alone the fourteen who were chasing him. Sam and Dean were out of the question; Cas couldn't sense them, and didn't want them involved in angel affairs. Castiel knew he could not afford to stop, but he... he had to. He was exhausted. Then, the worst thing happened. He stumbled.

_SAM WINCHESTER IS DEAD._

_SAM WINCHESTER IS DEAD._

"No," the Archangel muttered. "That can't - Dean -"

_DEAN WINCHESTER IS DEAD._

_DEAN WINCHESTER IS DEAD._

"NO!" He fell, his wings frozen, and spiralled towards Earth. His hands clutched at his chest, his head tucked. He was horrified, terrified, shocked. Scared. Dean and Sam were dead? That couldn't be. Surely Michael would return them...

Castiel was tumbling towards the ground, falling through the air, his wings burning painfully as he breached the atmosphere. He was falling to Earth, and it would be barely a minute before his vessel would hit the ground, his Grace would spark out and his wings were merely shadows ashes spread out on the fields. He curled himself into a ball, desperately spreading his wings out and fanning them to slow his fall, but his feathers were heavy with heat, fear and sorrow. Only milliseconds later, four angels grabbed his arms and hauled him upwards to safety. The young Archangel hung limply in the angels' arms, so completely in shock he couldn't even carry his own weight. One of the angels quickly took his blade from him and handed it to Zazriel.

"Cassiel?" Two hands lifted his chin, but Castiel's eyes stared glassily away. "Is he injured? Is he hurt? What -"

One of the angel's holding him up brushed a hand through his hair. A tendril of Grace stroked against Castiel's, and his pure essence recoiled backwards even further into his vessel, flinching away. "I believe he's in shock, sir. The Winchesters -"

"Yes, Hadriel, I heard the news as clearly as you did." Zazriel now touched the Archangel's forehead, trying to make contact with his Grace, but he was unreachable. "We cannot return him to Heaven in this condition. At least, not until the Winchesters are found and they are returned to their bodies. Cassiel would do something foolish and try to find them and escape. We'll have to remain on Earth."

Nathanael scowled. "Remain on Earth? Cassiel is a dangerous, uncontrollable Archangel, who can only be contained by Michael. He _needs _to be contained in Heaven. We cannot simply keep him here. We need Michael."

"Of course." Zazriel turned and addressed one of Nathanael's angels that was gently hovering behind him. "Madreel, inform Michael we have apprehended Cassiel." Then he turned to one of his own. "Sophia, fly to Zachariah. Tell him I sent you to monitor his progress in returning the Winchesters to life. At least that will place Cassiel's mind at ease. I will go with these four and Cassiel to a safe residence. Nathanael, you must go back to Heaven and prepare for the Heir's return there."

Nathanael scowled at being given orders but quickly took flight with the remaining angels, vanishing in milliseconds. The four angels still supporting the Archangel flew quickly, following Zazriel to a small isolated cabin in North Carolina, that had been warded and sigiled against demons, supernatural creatures and Lucifer. Once inside, they set the catatonic Archangel on the couch before slipping outside to resume their guard duties. Zazriel folded his white streaked tawny wings and stood calmly in front of Cassiel. After a moment or two, the young Archangel blinked and opened weary blue eyes to gaze at his surroundings, his wings quivering. His hands opened from his torso to reveal his half-healed wound. There were a few spots of blood, but nothing serious. Zazriel was relieved to see the silver-golden sheen that was created by the flecks in Cassiel's raven black wings was still present.

"Where am I?" the Archangel questioned warily.

"A safe residence," Zazriel replied. "You are to stay here under guard until Michael comes, or until we are called to bring you to Heaven."

"I need to... I need to find Sam and Dean..." Castiel muttered.

"They are safe, in Heaven. They will soon be returned to their bodies."

"That's not what I meant..." Castiel murmured. "I - they won't _know _they are in Heaven. They need to find each other first before you can even hope to revive them."

Zazriel frowned. "You do have a point."

"Let me contact them," the Archangel insisted. "I can tell Dean how to get to Sam and how they can be returned to their bodies."

Zazriel gazed at him a moment, the uncertainty clear in his slightly quivering wings. But finally, he sighed and agreed, "Alright, Cassiel. What would you need?"

"Myrrh, Dean and Sam's blood, holy oil, a fang of a vampire and an angel feather," Castiel answered prompty, managing to stand, coming out of his shock. "Also a silver bowl for the spell to be completed in. I think you should be able to procure these?"

"Of course. Muriel, you shall find these ingredients and deliver them as quickly as possible," Zazriel ordered, turning to Nathanael's messenger angel.

Muriel nodded and quickly flew off. Zazriel turned back to Cassiel to find him nervously looking around through the windows to see the angels guarding the perimeter outside. His fingers twitched a curtain sideways, and the Archangel grimaced, seeing how outnumbered he was, before the curtain swung back into place with Castiel striding back into the centre of the room.

"Have you called Michael?" he questioned softly, and Zazriel was surprised to hear obvious fear and despair in his voice.

"Well, what did you expect?" Zazriel replied. "He was the one who gave the orders to find and apprehend you."

"'Apprehend'," the young Archangel scoffed, glancing away. "Since when did I become a criminal in Heaven's eyes?"

Zazriel glared at him and was about to respond but then Muriel flew back in, with the silver bowl full of ingredients in her arms. Castiel glowered at the Seraph before moving forwards carefully to take the ingredients, setting them out on a counter and examining the two vials of each Winchester's blood.

"Where did you find this blood?" the Archangel questioned suspiciously.

"We have resources in Heaven," Muriel answered.

Castiel stared at her for a moment before nodding dismissively, beginning to pour the holy oil into the silver bowl and mixing in Sam and Dean's blood, swishing the bowl around for a moment before sprinkling the myrrh and dropping in the vampire fang. He spoke a few harsh syllables of Enochian before glancing one again at the table's contents.

"Where is the angel feather?" He asked Muriel.

Muriel looked at him like he was stupid.

"You cannot think I would use my own," Castiel said disbelievingly.

"You have perfectly functional wings with feathers of your own," Muriel sniffed. "Use your own feathers, Cassiel."

"I am currently in hiding from Lucifer and his demons. What if he would sense the power of the search and come to investigate? I am sure six angels would not be able to keep him away for long."

Muriel still looked slightly put out, so Zazriel quickly spread out his left wing and took hold of one of his smaller insulation feathers, a light brown with a single thin streak of white going through it, and he quickly pulled it out with a wince, before handing it to the Archangel.

Castiel took it and dropped it into the mixture of myrrh, oil and blood, slowly tossing the bowl in his hands, speaking more harsh Enochian. After a moment, the Archangel set the bowl down and drew up a chair telekinetically, seating himself down in it while gazing intently into the silver dish.

"Dean!" Cas called hopefully. "Dean, can you hear me? Dean!"

Then, after a moment, a confused, _Cas?_

"Yeah, it's me," Cas replied, relieved. The spell was already taking its toll, sapping his energy and wearing on his Grace.

_You gotta stop poking around in my dreams. I need some me time._

The Archangel took a shaky breath, inhaling sharply. So Dean didn't remember what had happened to him. Zazriel meanwhile had approached and was now standing behind him closely, watching and listening intently. Castiel placed his hands down on the counter top, ignoring their shaking. "Listen to me very closely," he said slowly. "This isn't a dream."

_Then what is it? _Dean questioned wildly, obviously panicked.

Castiel sighed, looking down at the bowl again. "Deep down, you already know." His voice had a tinge of sadness and remorse in it.

There was a hesitant beat, and then Dean realised, with a small tremor in his upset voice. _I'm dead._

"Condolences," the Archangel replied, believing it to be the human term.

_Where am I?_

Zazriel was hovering at Castiel's shoulder, gazing at him intently, waiting for some betrayal of sorts. Castiel looked up at him defiantly then, addressing Dean's voice coming from the bowl: "Heaven."

_Heaven?_ Dean said, now shocked and panicked at the same time. _How did I get to Heaven?_

Clenching his fists due to the effort of keeping up the spell and the connection wavering, obviously due to Dean's conflicting emotions, Castiel pleaded, "Please listen. This spell – this connection – it's difficult to maintain."

_Wait, if I'm in Heaven, then where's Sam?_

Castiel frowned, thinking for a moment. "What do you see? Tell me if you see a tunnel or a river… what do you see?"

_Nothing, I see my dash. I'm in my car, I'm on a road._

Castiel ignored the nagging nausea in his Grace and instead sighed shallowly in relief. At least his soul had not moved on into his Heaven yet, or been taken by the angels. "Alright, so for you it's a road," Castiel nodded. But the spell was faltering, the Archangel's strength giving out bit by bit, the silver bowl and its contents now shaking itself with the sheer amount of power the Archangel was flowing into it to maintain the connection. "Follow it, Dean. You'll find Sam. Follow the road."

And with his last weak instructions, the Archangel slumped unconscious in the chair, head hitting the counter top and wings falling limp behind him - leaving Zazriel staring with his mouth open in disbelief at what had just happened in front of him. The Seraph stood still for a moment, obviously bewildered at what he should do, considering the Heir of Heaven had just passed out in his care. Finally, the Seraph just reached forwards and pressed two fingers to Castiel's forehead, sending him a wave of healing energy from his Grace to soothe him. Castiel's Grace finally relaxed back into the darkness, accepting relief.

* * *

"And he just passed out?"

"Yes, sir. I'm afraid so, sir," replied a nervous voice. "He - he said that maintaining the spell was difficult. None of us knew he would end up losing consciousness, sir. Swear on our Grace."

"I believe you, Zazriel. Leave us. I will call for you later if I have need of you."

"Yes, sir. Of course, sir."

Cassiel's eyes cracked open. He was lying on his side on one of the couches, his wings curled up around him. Out of the slight slits in his eyelids, he saw Zazriel beat his white streaked tawny wings, flying off in a hurry. The young Archangel frowned and shifted slightly, his wing muscles spasming as his vessel moved further into the sofa. He blinked and looked up again, only to reel back in horror and shock, leaping up from his position and immediately search for his sword - which was currently in the other angel's hand.

Which caused dread to strike through Cassiel's heart.

Because the other angel happened to be Michael.

Michael's current vessel was an older man, with stubble and slicked back brunette hair (think Christian Bale). His eyes, though, remained firmly the Head Archangel's; burning bright grey with flecks of silver. Michael carefully set down the Heir of Heaven's angel blade to the side and raised his hands to try and placate his younger brother. He could tell Cassiel was on the verge of having a panic attack, by the way his great vast black wings trembled and spasmed randomly, trying to spread out to allow him to take flight, but fighting against that instinct.

"Easy there, Cassiel," he said calmly, and his accent was English this time. "I am not here to harm you."

"Then why _are _you here?" the Heir of Heaven spat, with venom in his voice. "Come to take me back to Heaven, I suppose? Well you'll have to drag me. I won't be going with you willingly."

"I am afraid we cannot afford to yet return you home," Michael told him. "The Winchesters have not yet been found."

Cassiel looked confused. "How long was I unconscious?"

"Barely twenty human minutes."

"Surely that was enough time for Dean to find Sam and for Zachariah to return them to their bodies."

"Time passes differently in Heaven," Michael replied. Then he looked down at his vessel. "I barely have minutes left before this vessel burns out. I will be plain with you, Cassiel. After the Winchesters are returned to life, you will come with me to Heaven. There, you will be stripped of your memories of them. Then, you will take your place as our new God."

Cassiel glared at him. "It is not so simple, brother. Do you even know what becoming God entails? How it happens?"

Michael stared at him, then commented somewhat sheepishly, "As a matter of fact, no. I do not. Care to enlighten me, little brother?"

"I must first complete a complex blood ritual and pass into Purgatory to absorb ten trillion souls from their depths. Then, if that does not kill me, I must take unto me a thousand angel Graces and a thousand souls from the pits of Hell. Presuming that does not destroy my vessel or drown out my own Grace, I must then gain the blessings of the Fates and Death itself." Cassiel raised his head finally, and his blue eyes were haunted and there was sheer terror in them. "Tell me. Does that sound _simple _to you?"

Michael gazed at him for a moment. Finally, he spoke: "That does indeed sound complex, Cassiel. Fortunately, you are a very complex creature yourself." He turned and spread out his great pure white wings. "I will be back soon, Cassiel. And you shall come with me. Do not test my temper."

Cassiel looked surprised. "You are leaving me here alone?" Then he turned and gently picked up his own blade from where Michael set it down. "_With _my blade?"

"You cannot fly from here. There are now twenty six angels, twenty-three of them High Seraphs, guarding this safe house. Zazriel has other duties. Your blade is merely to protect you should Lucifer and his demons somehow procure your position. It will do no harm against the angels. I am sure you can wait in this room alone, for the several hours it takes for the Winchesters to be found." With that, the Head Archangel vanished with a flurry of pure white feathers, leaving Cassiel alone in the room.

_... Cas talked to me before using this phone-home radio thing, so I— Cas!_

Castiel straightened and rushed over to the silver spell. He could hardly believe it - even after his backlash of faded energy and power, the spell was still being maintained. He gazed down into the silver bowl and the feeling of elation appeared in him when he realised he could see the faint outline of both Sam and Dean, together. "I can hear you." The spell wavered slightly, but Castiel pushed another burst of power into it.

Dean smiled in relief in the faint imagine. _Cas. Hey! So I, uh, I found Sam but, but something just happened. There was this weird beam of light._

Castiel's eyes widened as he practically shouted desperately, "Don't go into the light!" He quickly searched the room side to side. He hoped no other angel was listening in on him. He was about to break all of the Seraph commandments.

Dean's eye brows shot up. _Okay. Thanks, Carol Ann. What was it? _

"Not what, whom." Castiel shook his head in annoyance. "Zachariah. He's searching for you."

_And... if he finds us?_ Sam asked, the first time he had spoken, causing the Archangel to smile.

"You can't say yes to Michael and Lucifer if you're dead, so Zachariah needs to return you to your bodies."

_Great!_ Sam said, relieved._ Problem solved._

Castiel looked around again, still worried about getting caught, before he addressed the Winchesters once again. He had to do this. He had to just know. At least _know. _"No. You don't understand. You, hmm." He frowned. "You're behind the Wall. This is a rare opportunity."

_For... what?_

Cas inhaled sharply. "You need to find an angel. His name is Joshua."

Dean sounded annoyed. _Hey, man, no offense but we are kind of ass full of angels, okay. You find him._

The Archangel shook his head, frustrated. "I can't. I can't return to heaven. In fact, I can't leave at all."

Now, Dean sounded upset and angry. _Damn. They got you, didn't they?_

"I'm afraid so," the Archangel informed him. "I'm currently being held in one of their safe houses, guarded by over twenty angels. I won't be able to reach you, I'm sorry."

_Don't be sorry for that, Cas. We're sorry. How did they catch you?_

Castiel looked down now, abashed. "They - I was caught during a moment of weakness. I couldn't defend myself, or fly. I was in shock, you would say."

_And... how did this happen? _Sam asked, clearly looking for more.

Swallowing, Cas explained slowly, "Your deaths were 'broadcasted' over 'angel radio'. I was more than slightly horrified at what I heard."

_You got caught by angels because you were traumatised by us getting shot?_

"I know it sounds ridiculous," the Archangel muttered, embarrassed. "I should not have -"

_No, _Dean said then. _Cas, it's nice to know you're lookin' out for us. That you consider us worth mourning. It's - it's good._

There was an awkward silence then, until Sam questioned, _So, what's so important about Joshua?_

Relieved, the Archangel hurried to answer, "The rumour is, he talks to God."

A swift pause. _And, so?_

The Archangel growled quietly. "You think maybe—just maybe—we should find out what the hell God has been saying?"

Dean whistled. _Jeez. Touchy._

"Dean," the Archangel said, softly now. "I - I just need this. Please. He is my _Father. _The One who gave me _purpose._" There was silence once again. "Please. I just need you to follow the road."

_What road? _Sam asked, confused.

"It's called the Axis Mundi," Castiel explained. "It's a path that runs through Heaven. Angels and souls use it to travel around. Different people see it as different things. For you, it's two-lane asphalt. The road will lead you past the Room of Records and the Armoury Tower, to the Garden. That's the centre of Heaven. You'll find Joshua there. And Joshua… can take us to God -"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

The Archangel whirled around to see two angels standing behind him, horrified. They immediately drew their swords and advanced, flashing their wings. Castiel was unarmed, but stronger and faster. He was quickly able to pin one of the angels to the floor and keep him there while he struggled and thrashed against the other Seraph, who now had both of his hands around Castiel's vessel's throat to try and restrict his oxygen and force his vessel to pass out.

"The Garden!" Castiel shouted, hoping Dean and Sam would realise he was fighting other angels. "Quick! HURRY!"

He swung his arm out sideways and the silver bowl fell to the floor, contents going flying. Castiel whipped one of the Seraph's with his left wing, grabbing a nearby vase to smash it over the head of the other. Grabbing their fallen blades, he twirled one in each hand, eyes hard and cold and unforgiving. The two Seraphs immediately backed off into the defensive. Nobody particularly fancied fighting the most powerful angel of all time wielding two swords.

"Now," Castiel panted, pointing one sword at each angel. "You will be silent, or I will make you be. Where's the back door?"

One Seraph quickly pointed. The Archangel backed to the door quickly and opened it, one sword still pointed. He slipped through it and his wings swept him into flight. As soon as his feet left the ground, he heard the two angels scream in their true voices for back up. An angel caught his ankle, and Castiel turned, his wings keeping him steady and lashed out with a sword, grazing the angel's shoulder and freeing himself.

Castiel was beating his wings quickly, while occasionally turning back to clash blades with an angel who had caught up with him. He had twenty-six angels flying after him, all determined not to let him escape - even if that did mean injuring him. Castiel searched desperately below him - and there, a pinprick of light, showing Robert Singer's Salvage Yard in the far distance.

Sweeping into a low vertical dive, Castiel's wings shot out at the last second, making him shoot across the Earth quickly towards the safety of the wards. Realising what was happening, the twenty six angels began quickening their pace, their wings flapping desperately. But they were no match for the Archangel, who pulled up and gracefully landed on his feet, a few metres inside the wards. The twenty six angels slammed into the protective barrier and were thrown backwards with cries of anger and fury.

"I apologise, brothers and sisters," the Archangel said sarcastically, adrenalin still pumping through the blood of his vessel, making his feathers twitch and nerves gasp in relief and glee. "It appears you can not pass."

"This is not the end of it, Cassiel," Eliah, one of the older Seraphs, growled.

"Oh, I think it is," Castiel replied.

With that, he turned and took flight again, ignoring the indignant shouts and snarls of the angels who were stuck behind the boundary line. Landing swiftly at Bobby's house's door, he rapped three times, knowing it was the human custom and Bobby would not appreciate him flying straight into his study in front of him. After a few moments, Bobby opened the door, appearing in the doorway in his wheelchair. He stared up at the Archangel in surprise.

"Hello, Bobby," Castiel greeted him, elated. "I have just been chased by twenty-six angels, threatened by Michael and also, Dean and Sam are dead and are in Heaven. May I please come in?"

* * *

**AN: This was one of my favourite chapters to write!**

**Please review with comments and suggestions! I also take criticism and homemade chocolate cookies. Mmm. Me love me some cookies.**

**Waiting currently to watch HTTYD 2. All my friends have watched it but I haven't! It's so frustrating!**

**So remember to PLEASE REVIEW! Love you guys so much, thanks for all your great support! And I REALLY want ideas and suggestions. It really helps with Writer's Block and to get the plot bunnies raring to go again.**


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